100 Days….. Wow
Wow, I still cannot believe that I made it 100 days. Those first 4-5 days felt like 100 to me. This was really difficult, mentally and physically draining at times, but it was worth every single shitty day I went through.
Here’s my story, as short as I can make it……
Mint skoal and I met each other 20 years ago during high school baseball. The last 4 years, I switched to grizzly mint pouches. For a while I was happy that I switched to pouches, until I realized that I could leave them in my mouth the majority of the day. I would easily go through a can to a can and a half a day, fall asleep with them in, drink beers with them in, kiss my wife with them in, have a professional job with them in…..etc. Oddly enough, quitting was always on my mind. I would always set a time in the future that I was going to quit. After high school graduation, I was definitely going to quit. When that failed, there was no doubt I would quit after I graduated college. Nobody chews once they get married….I will definitely quit after that. No chance I’m going to dip in front of my kids. Once I have my first kid, I will quit. Oddly enough, none of these things were important enough to me to quit using this drug that absolutely owned my life.
Again, I thought about quitting constantly. I would always think about mouth cancer, losing half of my face, early death, and possibly missing the opportunity to see my 4 wonderful daughters walk down the aisle. I would think about leaving my wife with 4 young kids on her own. Every single day I would think and worry about this shit, to the point I couldn’t sleep at night. It was exhausting….but it still wasn’t enough to make me quit this piece of shit addiction.
I always thought that ring in my back pocket and a big old bulging lip was ‘manly’. Once I decided to check out and join KTC, I realized that it took a much bigger man to quit this garbage. The first 4-5 days were a well-deserved kick in the balls. Possibly the worst 4-5 days of my life, and I know that I will never go through that again. The next 95 days were not as bad, but WOW….they were not easy either. I knew I had a lot of triggers, but I felt like a new trigger would pop up every day. Evil tricks that nic bitch was trying to play on my mind.
There was only one thing that saved me and got me to this milestone…..and that is my KTC Quit Brothers, in particular, everyone in the November Swarm. We fought for our month. We took some lumps, and gave out a few too (I see you October….haha). In the end, I think we all understood what the outsiders and vets were doing to us. I truly believe it strengthened my quit. I owe a sincere Thank You to Palpatine…..one seriously Bad Ass Quitter. He is here for me every day, on the site, and via text. His support means more to me than he knows. To the other daily roll supporters….Roy, FishFlorida, Chick, PMILS…..Thank You. Too many to thank individually, but thank you to those that helped on live chat (excellent tool). Thank you so much to the Vets. This site is Bad Ass, and it is because of all of you. I could have never done this alone. Thank you to October for challenging our month to be great…..it worked. PMILS and Sooverit……thank you for driving this HOF train! You guys have been fantastic. Last…..and final thank you goes out to Idaho Spuds’ Avatar…..don’t ever change (that’s right, it’s worth checking it out).
To the new quitters, if I can do it, anyone can do it. We will be addicts for the rest of our lives, all quitting together one day at a time. So sit down, grab a glass, and pour yourself a big old glass of Kool-Aid. Use the tools that are provided here, and drink up my friends!
BillW21
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member BillW21
