100… Really?

I will start this speech out like a lot of others. I will tell the story of my addiction(s), not to dwell on it, but to connect with the person reading this with a dip in their mouth. See, we are all the same. We have all been where you are, the only difference being we decided to get out.

I was 13 or 14 when I had my first smoke. Me and a friend of mine found a pack of smokes someone had tossed out of the car window. Man, did I get sick, but for some fucked up reason I liked it. We went through that whole pack in 2 days, and after it was gone I found myself cruising the streets looking for another pack that had been thrown out. Can we say early sign of an addictive personality? I never found any and didn’t touch nicotine again for almost a year. Around the age of 15 someone gave me my first dip of Skoal during a baseball game. I played first base and was in the dugout when I put it in. I ran out to first and was standing there waiting for the inning to begin when my head started swimming. Wow, this is way better than those smokes were, just please dont hit the ball to me, or a ground ball on the infield, I probably wont catch it. The rest is history. I would chew whenever I could, and easily went through a can every two days. By the time I hit 19 I decided that I should probably quit, so I bought some smokes to help. What kind of faulty logic is that. Around this time I was also experimenting with various other drugs, namely marijuana and cocaine. No heavy use….yet. I successfully quit chewing at this time, but was smoking a pack a day. Progress eh? At the age of 20 I quit smoking as well, and was nicotine free for 6 months, until my 21st birthday. 1 smoke….1 turned back into a pack a day. Within a year I was dipping (Grizzly this time, long cut wintergreen) a can a day and smoking half a pack. The drug use had also began to pick up to the piont it was starting to affect me. By the age of 22 I would consider myself a full blown cocaine addict, using at least 3 times a week. At the age of 24 I met a beautiful young lady who didnt realize just how big of a douche bag I was. I promptly quit all drug use upon falling completely in love with her. However, I sure as hell couldnt give up the chew. Fuck that, thats my little buddy in a can, in fact I was up to a can and a half a day. We had been together for approximately 6 months when I noticed a bump on the inside of my lip, right where I held the chew. I just chose to ignore it, until it grew to where it was visible and my girlfriend really noticed it. She made me go to the doctor. I was nervous sitting in that chair, its somewhere you never want to go. Doc comes in, takes one look, laughs at me and says its a ranula. A clogged saliva gland. Lectures me on chewing, cuts that out of my lip (which hurt like a son of a bitch when the anesthetic wore off) and sent me packing. I told my girlfriend I would quit. So , I bought the patch and had no chew for 3 days. Then I forgot the patch when I left for work, and had bought a can within 4 hours, put a fatty in on the right side of my mouth, the left side STILL HAD STITCHES. I was a ninja dipper for another 6 months until I came clean. Did I try and quit for her again, no, I said screw it, I will dip when and where I want. Fast forward two years later. Im tired of my gums always hurting and blowing five some dollars a day. I call and make a promise to my g/f, I will quit on April 1st, 2009. I was away with work on that day. The night before I had 1/4 can left, took a nice big one, and relished my last chew. Until an hour later when I thought, well I cant end now, I need one more before bed, I’ll throw the can out in the morning. Hah! The morning rolls around, Ill finish this can by noon and be done. Hah! Ill just finish out today and quit tomorrow! Hah! However, on the ride home from work, I had a huge one in and I was just staring at that can, thinking how I could wait till she went to work in the morning and have another, and it dawned on me. This shit is more addictive than anything I have ever done. Ill never quit if I dont quit now. I tossed that can and the chew I had in out the window and when I woke up the next morning feeling like I was on fire, I googled quit chewing and found KTC. The guys in chat got me all signed up and were there to talk to me the first couple of days. The rest is 100 days of history.

Sorry for kind of rambling there

A couple of people I want to thank.

Ajax- My buddy group. Thanks for looking for me each and every day. Thanks for answering my texts when I needed it.

Markr- Thanks for letting me bump you, or you bump me every morning.

Dean- For your sick sense of humor. You and SWJ always keep me laughing

Glenn- Thanks for taking charge. Also for responding to texts and drunk chatting

kd4jet- Always there to lend support. Even if you are kinda queer 😉

nmc- For not making too much fun of me when I let 2 pots of water boil dry when I was in the fog.

Hoss- If you would not have called me that drunk evening I was at the wedding, I probably would have caved. Thank you

There are others and if I left you out I am sorry, it was not intentional. To the next 100!

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member cubs204