21 Years – Ready Now To Live Life Fully

21 years. That land mark is monumental for many people It’s when you can buy a beer and for me when I actually felt like and adult. I mean for me that was a great time in my life I had been working in the fire service for about a year. I had money in my pocket I was single, partying a lot and trying to get pussy every waking second (unsuccessfully might I add). The dark secret I had is at 21 I had already been dipping for 7 years. I didn’t give a shit I was invincible and you just don’t worry about shit like dying or getting sick or really anybody else ,but yourself. 21 is when I meet my future wife although I really didn’t even want a girlfriend. 21 is when I spent a lot of my time with 2 guys on this site we would drink together ,dip ,smoke we didn’t give a shit that’s what being 21 is all about. I would be lying if that shit wasn’t fun, it was I loved that time in my life. I have gotten older and realize that times will and always change.

21 years. I look back not at the age now,but now at the length that I have dipped. 21 years it took me to grow up and put this shit aside. 21 years is a life time for some unfortunate people. 21 years now represents the time I spent killing myself slowly and on purpose. Even though I am quit now that time I spent dipping has changed me both mentally and physically forever. That is something that I face everyday and the one comfort that I have is that I can come here and see everyone else going through the same shit as me.

21 years. I wonder why in the hell after that much time this time seemed like a good time to quit? I like all of you have quit maybe 100 times each time saying this was it. So why now after 21 years? I don’t have a great answer other than I was ready. The main reason though is that I got a call from a great friend. Rick (aka UCRick) and I have know each other for 20 of those 21 years. Rick and I have shared dips, been around each other dipping and bought cans of dip for each other longer than anyother person that I know. Rick has also for the past few years bitched to me and I bitched back about how much we wanted to quit, but just never did it. Christmas of ’07 we were at a party with WHO-DEY (who I have also know for 20 years) when he mentioned KTC, but for the most part I just kind of blew him off. I was on Chantix at that time and thought I had it all under control (BULLSHIT). I was back to dipping by Jan. ’08 after only 2-3 days of actual quit. Well Rick called me several times throughout ’08 saying he wanted to stop and I did too ( we were getting ready). Then Rick called me in December ’08 and reminded me about KTC and told me that I was quitting too. He didn’t give me the option he needed me to quit and I needed him too. That’s how I ended up here on the backs of others. Rick (UCRICK) & Dave (WHO-DEY) I thank you from my soul I owe you guys for my second chance at a better happier life where I am no longer a slave to Nicotine. I also want to thank Dave (HYDRO). For one you helped me remember what day I was on, but I felt like I was quitting directly with someone else other than my close friends. That may sound weird, but you allowed me to personalize my quit outside of the bubble of my really close friends. I hope to meet you some day and shake your hand. To rest of March ’09 I thank you for just being there and posting daily so I could see that you guys were at my side and I at yours. I didn’t get to know all of well, but I hope to change that as we keep quiting and posting into the future.

21 years and beyond. It is my future now. I hope to look back 21 years from know with some knowledge and wonder how this has changed me. I know that dipping changed as I mentioned earlier, but I wonder how quitting has changed me and only time will tell. I know now that I will stay quit because of all the great people on KTC.

21 years and ready now to live life fully. (Hopefully I last longer than that though I’m only 36)

TODD aka Wallydog

Leave the light on for all those who have not found their way to QUIT !

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member wallydog