36 Years in The Making
I simply have run out of excuses, justifications and time. I have systematically spent most of my adult life since college lying about, avoiding and simply pretending I was not an addict. I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs and I don’t drink coffee, so dipping will be my secret personal vice. How Stupid could I be? I am the worst kind of addict …. a stealth addict.
It’s been 36 years in the making, and for all to hear … I am and have been a nicotine addict for my entire adult life. From the age of 19 when I took a dip on a dare until now at 55, the rest is history and I find myself here by the grace of God with a group of people I can lean on to become a successful quitter. How ironic. An amazing canvas of guys and gals who know as do I that our lives are worth more than that next dip, that next lie and the possibility of hearing the worst news ever from our doctor. I am overwhelmed to be Quit with you all.
When I created my user id (TT is Done!!) little did I know what sort of journey I was in for. It was just another lie I told myself that eventually I was going to be truly and finally quit. I did however think carefully about and chose my support people carefully. If I was to have any chance at quitting it would require the same dedication to quitting as I gave to my addiction. 100% EVERYDAY EARLY WUPP, Cold Turkey, grind it out, never give in quit strategy and I am now 100+ days quit. There were days when I didn’t believe it was possible to quit from minute to minute, but I never let the demon back in. Not for a minute. Amazingly, I found honesty and strength in my J-Holes quit group when I needed it most, I stayed busy reading almost everything on the KTC site including reading and rereading every single HOF letter. You all have been my guiding light! Thank you for helping me find that better version of me that I had discarded 36 years ago for chew. I know my family and friends are happy and that is reward enough. I, however, am relieved that I might very well live long enough to tell the truth longer than I lied to most of the people I love. I can say it today easily…. There is absolutely nothing worthy of our focus or lives in those small tins of poison. If I had any advice to give…. I would tell the kids – Don’t be like me. Quit, Stay Quit, Love, Laugh and Live long enough to make chewing a memory and most of all go Fly Fishing my friends!
PS: Special thank you to @chick for everything she did in helping me realize my HOF quit. I could not have done it without her, or the KTC team and my J-Holes. I would also like to acknowledge the support and real reason I will forever stay quit – for my Janey, Sam and Lily. God Bless.
Todd Tessler,
Quit 4/13/2022- Forever +1
Written on my 1⁄2 HOF Day 50 on 6/1/2022 as it was suddenly as clear as day. NNT ODAAT, This, I promise.
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan community member TT is Done!!
