3rd Time’s a Charm – Why It Took So Long
I’ve often thought of what kind of HOF Speech I would write. I’m not going to sit here and blow smoke up your skirt, and I will leave the philosophy to those much better at it.
Well let us back up a few years shall we. I Started dipping in my senior year of high school, continued though college blah blah blah…. Every picture of me shows me dippin’ from fishing to birthdays, xmas’s to weekends with friends, even my wedding pictures… You’ve all heard it and lived it.
HOF – Dec ’07: The Practice Quit.
I’ve gone back a read through this group a few times. Wow, young and dumb sums it up pretty well. I never got involved, never fully committed. I hit the 100 mark, but was gone shortly thereafter and back on the can because I proved to myself I could quit if I really wanted to.
HOF – April ’10: Quit Scrimmage.
I was committed, made sure that I corrected the mistakes I made during the practice. Can’t believe I walked away from such a great group of serious quitters. I posted with this group religiously through the HOF and that’s where I ran in to trouble. By this time I was getting tired. Mentally I had fought so hard to get here, that I was wore down. I wasn’t prepared for what was about to happen. The “voice” was telling me that the only reason I was still thinking about dip was I was on this site. If I would walk away from here, those thoughts would fade. Guess what, they didn’t. I thought about it more and more and before long I found myself holding a can in my hand. “If I’m going to be thinking about dip all the time, I might as well be doing it.” That is the post-HOF crave/funk, that is what brought me down.
After both of these “attempts” I never posted a HOF Speech. I would tell myself that I wasn’t ready, that I was quit enough to be posting a speech. Who was I to tell others how to do it? Thinking about it now, I was leaving myself an out. If I posted a speech, I couldn’t cave and then come back.
HOF Dec ’11: The Big Show
Why is this time different? I have closed the door, burned my boat ect..I’ve actually admitted to myself that I am an addict. I might think about dip every day of my life and I’m OK with that. I have a choice, to slowly kill myself or live life. I have chosen to be part of the small percentage of those that can overcome and succeed at this thing called quitting. I can win because I am only doing so on a daily basis. I choose to be free of this addiction and to free myself of the constant worry. Thank you to this band of misfits, who let me in. I am not going to take this opportunity to thank individuals. You’re all dicks. Actually it’s because I don’t want to leave anyone out. Every quitter on this site inspires me to continue this battle.
No matter how many goals you have achieved, you must set your sights on a higher one.
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Throbbing Rod
