99 Problems But Some Nic Ain’t One

KillTheCan.org forum member Big Brother Jack, on day 9,550, re-wrote Jay-Z’s ’99 Problems’ and it is glorious…

99 Problems

“If you’re having Quit problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety nine problems but some Nic aint one
I got the Skoal patrol on the No patrol
Foes that want ta make sure my Lip is closed
Chew critics that say he’s “Dip Fiend Foes”
I’m from the woods, stupid? what type of facts are those?
If you grew up with rings in your zapatos
You’d celebrate the minute you was having those
I’m like “Fuck critics” you can kiss my whole asshole
If you don’t like my lyrics, you can press fast forward …
I Got beef with Tobacco if I don’t play they show
They don’t see me Spit, well, I don’t give a shit, so
Snuff mags try and use my white ass
So advertisers can give ’em more cash for ads, fuckers
I don’t know what you take me as
Or understand the intelligence that B.B.J. has
I’m from dirty to clean , Quitters I ain’t dumb
I got ninety nine problems but some Nic ain’t one, hit me
Ninety nine problems but some Nic ain’t one
If you having Quit problems I feel bad for you son
I got ninety nine problems but some Nic ain’t one, hit me”