I Didn’t Mean To Quit

I don’t even know where to start-after reading so many of the HOF speeches on this site it’s really hard for me to think of what to write. So many of you before me have done such an awesome job expressing yourselves that I have been struggling to come up with this speech. Anyway, I’m going to give it a shot.

I didn’t mean to quit. I didn’t plan it out. I didn’t set a date. I didn’t do the patches or the gum. It just happened. I had just bought a brand new can and had taken only one dip out of it before I flushed it. It was the best feeling to get rid of that can. I remember thinking “well, there went $5 down the toilet” but I didn’t care. It was a HUGE relief to have that can gone.

It hasn’t been that bad. Sure I have had bad days but it hasn’t been anything that I can’t handle. I am the one who started the habit so I’m the one who can stop it. I know a lot of people have struggled with quitting or are still struggling. One day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time is all you can do. I try to remember that it is going to take awhile to get used to being a normal person again! I don’t have to carry a spitter with me or be a “ninja dipper” anymore. I don’t have to plan out when I am going to have a dip. I don’t have to go to the store at midnight to get another can so I can have a dip first thing in the morning. You have to learn to live your life without the can controlling your life.

I have also become a “hater” and I think that is what has helped me stay quit. I hate the fact that I wasted so much money on something so worthless. I hate that I am addicted to something that is so horrible. I hate nicotine and the fact that it controlled my life for so long. I hate that I let something that is so GROSS become a part of my life.
Chewing is so gross and disgusting. It makes me sick to think how I used to act when I was chewing. I was very immature and selfish. I think about how many times people had to dump out my spitters-DISGUSTING! I think about how many times I spilled my spitters-in the house/pickup -DISGUSTING!

Sure there have been times that I THINK I want a chew. Yeah, even after thinking about how disgusting and addicting it is I still want to do it. Why would I want it? Because I am an addict. I haven’t had nicotine in my body for over 100 days but I’m still an addict and I always will be. The one thing that stays with me and keeps me motivated: THERE IS NOTHING GOOD ABOUT NICOTINE. It doesn’t make you smarter or better looking. It doesn’t improve your life in any way. It kills you. Bottom line, it kills you.

If somebody who is thinking about quitting that happens to read this, don’t wait to quit. There is nothing to wait for. You think you can’t function without it, you need to wait until after this or that or some other bullshit excuse to quit. You don’t.
Life goes on and it gets better without that shit in your lip. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

I want to thank everybody on this site for helping me stay quit. It isn’t just one person in particular, it is the whole site. Everybody does their part, it might be a personal message, it might be a message in roll. Keep it up everybody, you never know when you will help somebody!

I’m quit!

Liane

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Aneokly