Where There’s a Will

I’ve been told for years that it was a bad thing to take up. I never listened because some of the most important people in my life used tobacco everyday. I looked up to them, emulated them, and modeled my every move after them. It was a rite of passage for me. I felt like I was part of a brotherhood. I liked the curious look in people when they saw my lip bulging out, they way it tasted, and the way it made me feel. I liked trying to get as much as I possibly could in one pinch; open, pinch, twist, turn, lift. And I loved the way a fresh can out of the fridge tasted. However, I hated that I would get dizzy when I couldn’t have it. I hated the way it made me feel after someone gave me “the speech”. And I hated that something, anything, especially a can with dirt in it was stronger than me.

I had the will power to quit, but not the intensity. I was on the precipice of mouth problems, which drove me to feel bad using it, which drove me to hate it, which made me hate it even more knowing then that I needed it so much. When I came here, I knew I would finally have the support and understanding I needed to sustain my quit. My mouth still waters, and occasionally I get a little foggy, but there are people registered on this site who’ve used tobacco twice as much as I have for nearly 4 times as long. They inspired me to stay quit. Now I’m one of the most important fellows in the lives of only a few people, but it’s enough to know that I need to stick around for a while. My priorities are right again. And I have a new brotherhood now; one that stuck by me when I was low — and there’s nothing stronger than that.

Stay quit. This 100 days is for you. Here’s to 100 more, friends.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member koz