What Now?

So you’ve hit the hall. 100 days quit! Man what an accomplishment. What do you do now though? You could go to the movies, play some golf, maybe take a mini vacation. Sure you could do these things but why not stay quit for another 400 days and then throw it away because you want to know if that same old feeling comes back when you put a dip in. You want to remember what it was like to walk out the door and in a panic pat yourself down to make sure you have your can. You want to remember what it’s like to have a mouthful of spit at the checkout counter hoping the cashier will hurry up so you don’t have to swallow. You want to remember what it’s like to be sitting in the living room at midnight having to slap yourself to stay awake but knowing you just have to get this last dip in before you go to bed. You want to remember what it’s like, that’s all….just wanna see once more.

This was me and I could go on and on. I fell into the trap of wanting to remember and I can tell you that caving does not bring back those feelings and memories the way your life once was. I’ll tell you what happens, it’s just like the first time you took a dip. You get a headache, stinging raw cheeks, and the worst feeling of nausea and desire to throw up. That’s all it takes though, one time and your hooked again. It’s not the same as it was and it never will be. Don’t ever let your desire to remember how things were cloud the reality that dipping will never be like it used to.

Be strong and always remember why you quit. Maybe it was for health, your family, money or any number of reasons. I can promise you that the craves you have in the days ahead will never be as bad as having to quit all over again.

Thank you to March ’10, August ’08 and the entire brotherhood of this site for your support.

Jeremy

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Jblplyr