The Lies Dippers Weave

I ran across this post on the forums this morning from ATL-NinjaDip and had to share. It amazes me how strong the grip of tobacco addiction was over me. I wasn’t a ninja dipper the way he was, but I had several internal conversation just like this during my dipping days.

Thinking of weird shit I used to think about when I was dipping.

As my username indicates, I was a Ninja Dipper. I could hide my dip better than anyone, and I did, for about 11 years. I could dip in polite society, gut the juice, an no-one was the wiser.

As I drove to and from work in this god awful ATL traffic, I used to wonder what to do if I got into a wreck. I was so afraid that I might get into an accident, become incapacitated, and the paramedics would have to pull a big wad of dip out of my trachea, or my wife would find out about my dip stash in the truck. I used to think about where I could hide my stash so that if I got into a wreck, no one would discover it. I never really found a good place, because, Duh, if you’re that fucked up in a wreck, your dip stash is probably smashed too. So I spent time concocting the story I would tell my wife, just in case it came up. 
“It wasn’t mine.”
“Must have been the paramedics.” 

Stupid, stupid, stupid shit. Now that I’m 16 days into my quit, the fog is slowly lifting, and I’m looking back at the absolutely stupid things I was thinking and doing at the time.

Any other Ninja Dippers have elaborate cover-up stories for if/when they got busted? 

SO proud to be a quitter today. Never going back.