When to Expect the Unexpected

My journey starts the same way as most, looking for any kind of help or a magic pill online to make me quit and never think about dip again. My list of when I am going to quit is long and like many full of important dates, moving to California, I will quit when I get there, coming home from California, when I arrive. Wedding, great idea but it didn’t happen, first child, perfect time, didn’t happen. Well here I was expecting a second child and still not able to quit.

Here is my Journey step by step (sorry long winded)

Three days of hell does not begin to describe what those first days were like. I had recently started a new job and was literally doing nothing at my desk. It took me everything I had to sit there and do nothing rather than having a dip. I drove 45 minutes to a town that I heard had fake dip at their Walmart. No luck so now I am looking at piles of dip, craving like a maniac and money in my hands. This was not where I wanted to be, it took everything I had but I walked out empty handed and ready to breakdown. Ouch that was one of the worst days I have ever had.

Now I am 4 weeks into my quit and every day is still a fight to make it through, I don’t go to C stores I avoid my friends they all dip and I am scared to be around them. My wife is about to give birth, and all I can think about it Skoal, unbelievable. Well, my wife and I have a healthy baby boy after some scares in the hospital that the Doctors made some mistakes with my wife, and all I can think about is now is the perfect time for a celebratory dip. That is right I am holding my new born son thinking now is the perfect time for a dip. I think this was the point that I knew, I am an addict and always will be. I fought off the cravings and pushed on.

50-75 days in I still think about dip every day, and wonder does this ever get better, not realizing it gets better every day. I am able to be around friends that dip and not go crazy, do I crave a dip yep, but I am able to fight off the crave. About day 70 I am on a business trip in Chicago, walking to my hotel when a crave hits me, I walk by C store after C store and all I can think about is just one. I text Trey and tell him what is happening and talk through it over text (Trey I can never express how grateful I am that you were there that day). I made it through.

Day 95, easy street right, not so much. I am 5 days away from the HOF and my child is in the hospital with some disease that I have never heard of. They are talking about possible heart complications and other side effects. What sneaks into my mind the nic bitch whispering grab a tin I will make this all better. 5 days from the Hall and this is what I am getting, this is not what I expected and would have never thought this possible, but it happened anyway.

Here I am day 107 going string and what have I learned, what ever you expect is going to happen probably isn’t. What is going to happen is unexpected at the least, what do I have to lean on my September quit brothers and sisters. Special thanks to Corn, Trey, and Cope without Cope. Also an up yours to Smokey for doubting September and their quit.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member shades3277