The Sisyphean Task of Quitting
As addicts, we have the Sisyphean task of quitting day by day.
“In Greek mythology, Sisyphus was a king punished by being compelled to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and to repeat this throughout eternity. The word ‘Sisyphean’ means ‘endless and unavailing, as labor or a task.'” (from somewhere on the inter webs, Wiki, I think). I always say my job is a Sisyphean task, but the quote above made me realize that it applies to addiction as well.
In order to be quit, we have to start pushing our boulder first thing every morning, just like ol’ Sisyphus. For some tasks in our life, we’re done after reaching the top of the hill each day. But our addict boulder inevitably rolls back down the hill at the end of each day. Since we will never be cured, we’re confronted each day with the choice of battling the addiction (rolling our boulder) or giving up. If you’ve posted roll, and given your word, then the only choice you have for that day is to start pushing.
Even though we never make progress and the boulder winds up in the same place we started, there is some good news. Our daily push gets easier as we build our muscles by making ourselves accountable and requesting / accepting help and support from others.
Denny, sorry to hijack your intro thread with my random thoughts. Just remember that you’re an addict, that what you’re going through right now is worth the price and that you don’t ever want to be that guy again. You know, the one who worried about when he’d be able to get his next fix from a can of chopped up weeds. I’m stronger than that tin. And so are you. Good to be quit with you.
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Gmann
Interesting How the Sisyphus story is used to describe the Quit on different people.
Day 17. brushed my teeth for 30 minutes. never really paid attention to my gums, but I saw them last night and they have receded somewhat. Gonna have to visit the Dentist. Glad i stopped when I did. 17 days, I tell people and they think nothing of it. to them I guess 17 days are just 17 days, to me seems like forever. Though the cravings are few and spread out they Do not stop. I read of guys here breaking down even after 100’s of days and it makes me think how else I can keep myself from falling back into the clutches of this dreaded habit. I think about how sick it used to make me, yet I would still do it every time the craving would kick in, the vicious cycle never ended, reminded my of the sysyphus myth, yet very real in my everyday life. When I finally realized that I could stop rolling that gigantic rock like sysyphus sort of speak and alleviate the pain that came from it, again metaphorically speaking, I stopped. Strangely enough though, why do I want to go back to push that rock up the hill and have it come down on the other side once again? WHY? it makes no sense, yet that is what I feel like doing when these cravings come upon me. Perhaps I should get mad at the Tin can and declare war on it, yet that would only require energy that frankly can be used for other positive things, Should I then mount attitude of ignoring the issue? pay no attention to it and it will go away?, perhaps when I have more days under my belt, but I think for now it must be a combination of both Positive and negative energy used to stay away from the can. Be bigger than the can, but know that it is a strong opponent that can defeat me if I relax my guard. Be gone Tin Can, Be gone.