108 Days Down, a Life Time To Go

I have been nicotine free for 108 days today, it doesn’t seem like a lot compared to the 35 years I have been stuffing my lip with cancer in a can.  Anyone reading this who is thinking about quitting, let me tell you something….DO IT!    Everything in the what to expect when quitting article is pretty spot on except for me the nicotine seemed to take a little longer to leave my system.  I had saturated myself with that poison to the tune of 3 cans a day the last couple of years.  Rather than pat myself on the back and get an Atta boy from everyone, I want to let the next guy considering the quit…exactly how I did it.

Like many, I was a ninja dipper and very few people knew I dipped.  I hid it from co-workers, family and friends.  Went to a couple different stores to buy my stuff every week because I didn’t want anyone to know how much I really dipped.  My fingers are no longer are stained from grabbing a pinch all the time and my breath has got to be better.  I had a dip in pretty much every waking hour, it was more important to me than just about anything else.

Over Labor Day weekend I scheduled myself 5 days in a row off.  No work, no family functions no nothing.  I knew from previous attempts that 3 days wasn’t going to cut it.  Day one went pretty well, I slept a lot (14 hours or so)   when I woke up I ate and went back to bed…avoiding everyone.  Day two went fairly smooth, I only raised my voice twice and allowed myself to get upset and irritable a few times.  My family was prepped for me being a dick and I didn’t disappoint that day.  Day 3, the mind games were really setting in. I was getting antsy and anxious and thinking of throwing in the towel and living with the fact I’m a weak minded loser who can’t quit.  All you quitters know that moment and all you new quitters will as well….Suck it up, it is well worth it.  It was the middle of day 3 when I broke down and had my wife take me to a local pharmacy where I bought some CBD oil.  Several drops under the tongue and 15 minutes later I was calm. (She drove because I was afraid I would stop and buy a can)  The CBD saved my ass and might save yours as well.  If the rage, anxiety and fear are holding you back…try it.  Day 4, more CBD, bought some fake dip instead of eating 4lbs of peanuts and was pretty chill.  Day 5, still had cravings but it was manageable, I had lots of support of people who were quite frankly amazed at how calm I was.  In fact, my wife seriously asked me if I started back up. Day 6 went back to work, joined KTC and here I am today. Side Note:  I used CBD oil for about 40 days until I felt I didn’t need it. I’m still using fake stuff but that will be going away soon as well.

I quit for me, was tired of spending all that cash on some crap that has the potential to kill me. Finally made the decision for the right reasons and made it work.  Once a member of KTC I quickly befriended KD2, a member of my December 19 group and Keith who is quit over a year now and helps rookies like myself navigate the suck of quitting.  The daily texting is a great reminder to stay quit and encourage the next guy to stay quit as well. The other thing I did was tell everyone I cared about that I was quitting, even if they didn’t know I dipped. It was a shock to many but when I told them they kept encouraging me. People I bowl with ask for a day count, the lady who sold me the roll every other days asks when I stop in for lottery tickets. Of course, I let my extended family in on the secret. After the initial are you serious and why have you been such a dumbass for so long….they have really been huge supporters. Gentlemen thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Allowing me to bitch and express concerns did more than I can ever say. I look forward to helping a new quitter in the near future.  To the rest of Dec. 19, Thank you and congratulations on hitting the 100 mark.  We haven’t been the most vocal group and I certainly have not been the most social. I have been keeping track of everyone as a lurker and secretly cheering each day the roster has been full.

Best Regards,
MourningWood

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member MourningWood