Past 200 Days Onward

I am starting my HOF speech with a portion of something I wrote at 200 days…

“Understanding that there is nothing left there for me to go back to.  There is a void at times and the crave kicks in, my brain thinks there is something that dip or cig is going to satisfy, but it’s not.  The fact is the chemical part of the addiction is dead, there is nothing there but the ghost of an old familiar “friend”.  It’s KNOWING this nasty trick my brain plays on me and minimizing the issue at hand, I am no longer chemically dependent, the headaches are gone, the fog is gone, the anxiety is (mostly) gone, I’m not going to die, this is just a crave and it will pass.  That thought process is what gets me through.”

Still just about every day my brain checks in for a dip.  It usually comes on during a time of day or an event when I would be wanting that nic.  The difference now is that I am in control, this is now a mental addiction.

I’ve attempted quits many times over the years, as have ALL of us.  The cans bought and washed down the sink, the one tin we decide to JUST keep for a day, the second tin that is bought, and back down the rabbit hole.

The difference this time for me IS ktc.  This forum with so much knowledge, first hand accounts, and records of both long term success as well as fails.  It is YOU who has brought me this far, and I am here in return.  I speak to others about this forum.  I raved about it to my dentist.  I suggest it to my co-worker who dips and tells the same (ir)rational reasons why he’s “not” addicted that we all used to.

So thank you everyone.  The fight is not over, the doors will need to remain guarded.  But there is hope out there for ANYONE, if I can do this then you can do this.  It gets better, much better, and the days start to add up faster than you expect.

Troy

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member –Ajax–