Lessons Learned – In 5,000 Words or Less
The thoughts that have gone into this “speech” have been stirring a long time, even before my last dip. Over 100 days ago I started this journey with more questions than answers. As I write this today I feel I finally have more answers than questions.
I learned a lot by joining this site and I credit this format for helping me get to where I am today. The funny thing is – I didn’t post on this site until 10 days in to my quit “attempt” but I have been here everyday since day 2. I spent a lot of time here, probably the entire work day for the first week because I couldn’t do anything else (I learned that was caused by the fog). I read every article on the main page and looked at the cancer gallery several times a day. It wasn’t until I posted roll for the first time, though, that I started to feel comfortable with quitting. That first roll call is the day I believed I was done.
So here are some of the things I learned:
You have to quit for yourself. If you quit for your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, wedding, kids, dog, house, car, or anything else you are relying on an external source to sustain your quit. You have to make it personal, take it personal, and believe in yourself. I quit as a 30th birthday present to myself.
Your symptoms, fears, thoughts, etc are on this site and they have been discussed. Other people have felt them and continue to feel them with each new quit group. You can check out the group in front of you and know what to expect and you can look at the group behind you and see where you have been. By sharing with the people here you are making your quit stronger and at the same time helping someone else who may be going through the same thing.
There is no such thing as just one. We have all done it. That is why we are here. We thought we had control over this habit, when in actuality it had control over us. This thought has been posted multiple times in the forum as well as other HOF speeches so I will plagiarize, I AM $5.00 AND A GAS STATION AWAY FROM A CAN A DAY HABIT. I can never, ever have another dip.
No situation is going to better with a dip or chew. They are situations that run their course. A dip is not going to fix them, make them better, make them more fun, etc. You are not a more patient person, or a nicer person, or a better husband/wife/friend/parent with a dip… If anything its that selfish belief that kept us chained to the habit in the first place.
Now, here is what I learned as a lurker and a newbie…. Drink a lot of water, as much as you can. You may use the restroom 40 times a day but you won’t be dipping. Have plenty of gum, seeds, fake chew, beef jerky, candy, fruit, or something else to help with the oral fixation. The first three days SUCK. You won’t get a lot done, you will feel like you can’t think straight, you think that a dip or chew will fix it. Embrace it; you will be better for it. Each time you make it through a crave you get stronger and better equipped to handle the next crave. The “fog” will lift and it does get better. And use the tools made available through this site. Print off the “Contract to Give up” on the main page and put it in your wallet, I still carry mine with me.
To quit effectively, you need support, like the support you find here at this site. There is no other format that allows for such honesty, patience, understanding, discipline, compassion, and learning that compares to what this site provides. The people that frequent this site have one thing in common, they want to quit and they want you to quit. They will do whatever it takes to help you and themselves stay quit! The comments and advice stored within this message board is priceless. Read as much as you can, post as much as you can and when you think about one more dip or chew imagine yourself posting a DAY 1 and see if that doesn’t take you off the ledge, I know it helped me more than once.
Those are just a handful of the things that I learned from this site and the people here. I really believe that the support from my quit brothers and sisters is what has helped me be a non-tobacco user. To single any one person out and thank them would be an injustice to this community because it is every one of you that have helped me get to where I am. THANK YOU!
With all that said, I owe the foundation on which my quit is built to my wife. On my second day we had a really rough morning and I was about an hour from lunch at which time I was going to buy a can of dip. All of the sudden a bunch of links pop into my in box; this site was one of those links. I joined that day and the rest is history. THANK YOU! (And she thinks I don’t listen to her! )
Finally, there is never going to be a perfect time to quit, so why not do it now?
“He who Hesitates is Lost”
Danny (aka 12171976)
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member 12171976
