But No Dips… Life Is Good. Dip Is Bad.
I’m back. No dips. Tomorrow will be two weeks. My wife hates. me. I’m mean to my dog and I yelled at my 5 year old daughter for looking at me funny, but no dips. I have chewing gum stuck in my teeth, sunflower seeds all over my car (it shouldn’t be that hard to hit a cup after 15 years of dipping) and I can’t concentrate on any one task longer than 30 seconds – but no dips. I’m way behind at work, I haven’t signed a single deal since I quit, and my boss is asking me what the hell I’m looking at as I stare out the window – but still no dips. I’ve bitten the inside of my mouth about a dozen times (either because I don’t know how to chew gum or I just need that familiar burn), my hands shake like crazy in the morning and after I eat, but still no dips. I’ve gained 9 pounds, I am averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night (that might have something to do with the 8 week old we have) and I yelled at my secretary for a mistake that I made – still no dips. I went to church on Sunday and heard absolutely nothing (that’s not anything new), I played golf last week and missed every putt outside of 3 feet, and I think my hair is almost entirely gray (I’m only 34) – but still dip free. I have to travel to Columbus tonight (2 hour drive) and I have no idea how to drive without a dip, I just yelled FUCK out loud for no apparent reason, and I just lost track of what I was doing – again – but still – I’m dip free for 13 lousy fucking days.
I think I’m doing great. In fact, this is the best I’ve felt in years. I know that I’m done dipping this time. I’ve quit countless times, but this time I know that I will never do it again. Food tastes good again (maybe too good). My wife is proud of me (even though she hates me) and my kids have no clue of what I’m going through. I am drinking less caffeine and more water. My breath doesn’t stink like skoal festering in my mouth for 3 hours at a time and my wife has even kissed me a couple of times without being provoked (even though she hates me). Today may be harder than day 1, but I have more confidence. I will get back on track at work and maybe even get a few deals done. The extra pounds will come off when I actually try some exercise (I’m playing basketball tomorrow). I coached my daughter’s soccer team last night ( I still can’t figure that game out) and we had a blast.
Life is good. Dip is bad. I need a beer but it is only 11:47 am. I might just have to drink a glass of water, stare out the window for another 15 minutes and tackle this pile building up on my desk. Life is good.
Thank you to all of you who send me notes. Thank you to all of you who feel as shitty as I do, but keep on plugging away. Thank you to all of you who know how important it is to me that I am dip free for 13 days. I see a lot of you who are still posting after 100 days, 200 days, 300 days. I’ll probably have to post for the rest of my life. I will always be a dipper, but I will never dip again. I guess it was the one thing that I was really good at. In fact, I joked that I was the best dipper ever. I’m sure many of you would argue that you were better, but who cares. I don’t dip anymore. Let someone else have that title.
Good luck to all!
Jason Williams
Former Dipper
Current Pain in the Ass
Daydream Specialist
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member jasonwilliams
