Are Committed? Don’t Waste Your Time If You’re Not

4 weeks ago

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Still Here - Don't Waste Your Time If Not Committed — Photo credit info@crashmedia.fi

At 22 days, I know enough that if there is anyone on this post that is not committed to a ‘Life of Quit’, you ought to find another site. I believe it was you that told me not to ‘Waste your time’ if I wasn’t committed. I trust that all that are reading this are committed, especially if you signed into roll call this morning.

22 days ago my wife found my stash of snuff, for the third time in our 11 yrs of marriage. I can’t tell you how many times I lied over those 11 yrs and said I had quit for good or that I couldn’t remember the last time I chewed. I’m tired of the lies, I’m tired of being addicted, I’m tired of looking for new ways to sneak a fix.

Are You Committed?

I guess I finally hit that point where I wanted to quit because I actually wanted to quit, not because others wanted me to quit. I also realized that I could not do it alone, I am not strong enough. This was very difficult to admit. And then, I found all of you. 22 days ago, I found KilltheCan.org, logged in, and found a group that was going through or had been through what I was in the middle of… a world of suck.

My urges are still there, as much as I try to ignore them. I have had that feeling of the two little demons, one on each shoulder, arguing with one another. One convinces me that I can quit, but now’s not the right time, quit once I’m done with the project that I’m on and once I finish school. Man, that sounds like a great plan. Why put myself through all of this at once? The other, keeps my head straight by telling me the first voice isn’t me, it’s the Nic Bitch. This voice tells me that everyone that has supported me over the last 22 days has been through the same quit. Everyone has had the same feelings, the same urges, the same rage… The strength that all of you have shown through this has given me the strength to battle back. I will win this battle, I will win this war.

My hope is that my confidence and determination will someday help one of you through a tough spot. That someday I will be able to give back to the community that has given so much to me in such a short amount of time.

And, well, if any of you don’t get that, then…

I am here to stay! – Thanks for your support