A Letter To U.S. Smokeless Tobacco

Dear Chairman of UST,
Dear douchetard dillhole

Just a quick note to thank you for making such a fine product. I have enjoyed skoal since I was 14. I think it’s the best.
Just a quick note to say fuck you, you death dealing fuckbag. Thanks for hooking me on a substance thats more addicting than heroin when I was a fucking child.I have been a slave to nicotine for 23 years. I think a product that kills you when you use it properly is insane.

I can fondly remember all your advertising with many great athletes “a pinch is all it takes” and now I am excited to be part of the Skoal Brotherhood
a pinch is all it took to get me to lie to my parents, wife, kids, destroy relationships, ruin my health, begin killing myself. Thank God I found this site and these guys at Kill the Can to support me in kicking this horrid addiction.

Skoal has been with me through thick and thin and always helped me out when I needed it.
Skoal had raised my blood pressure to unsafe levels and I had to chew two damn cans a day just to attempt to feel ok. Now that I quit I feel better than I ever did when I chewed. Skoal was good for nothing but keeping me addicted to Skoal

I especially appreciate the recent discounts on dip and all the great new flavors
Smoking is getting pushed out and you’re making a marketing play that dip is a safer alternative than cigarettes. Never mind the fact that the nicotine level in a can of chew is the equivalent of 60 smokes. You even drop the price and run multiple can specials to create addicts quicker than ever. Peach and berry dip, who are you kidding? those flavors are to hook children and women. You’re an absolute shit bag. You sell fruit and mint flavored cancer.

I am sure that you will have continued success with your fine brand of smokeless and wish you the best of luck
You can take your little copperheaded fuck buckets of cancer and shove em up your ass so far that you can pack em with your tonsils. I hope you can sleep at night knowing your product kills more people than almost anything in the world. I wish the worst thing in the world upon you and your cohorts… I hope you become as addicted to this shit as I was. I am free now, I no longer pay daily dues to UST, I no longer kill myself each day, I no longer hide cheat and lie to satisfy my addiction, I am a man of my word now….. I am quit

Best Regards
I hope you go bankrupt and die you miserable cocksuckers, if I ever meet you I will punch you in the junk and feed you to a shark, but only one slice at a time,8000 plus slices for each day that I dipped. I hope it hurts.

Skoal Monster

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Skoal Monster