A Life Saved – Monroe’s HOF Speech

My story is uniquely mine but it’s the same as a lot of yours. I’m a 40ish professional guy with a beautiful wife, beautiful kids, a beautiful house, and a beautiful life. I have everything that I need. I’m truly a lucky man – who’s addicted to nicotine. I started dipping 18 years ago while playing golf. I’ve dipped a can a day for most of my adult life. I told my wife I’d try to quit at least 100 times. I can’t believe she put up with this disgusting addiction. I thank God for her. For the first ten years, every New Year’s resolution was to stop dipping. I gave up pretending after that. I promised to quit when each of my two angels were born. Nothing worked for very long. The monkey always came back.

So why is it working now? I woke up on May 14th, 2008 and decided it was a time to stop for good. Just like that. I was ready. I want to see my kids grow up. I don’t want to die. I want to grow old with my wife. I was disgusted by this habit. I was sick of being a hypocrite. I was so tired of hiding or being embarrassed by the monkey on my back. This time I wasn’t doing it just for my wife or kids. I decided it was time to quit for me and I decided to look for help.

I searched the internet and found help here at killthecan.org. My resolve was different this time, but this website has proven to be the safety net that I needed to keep my resolve. The personal responsibility and accountability to my August 2008 quit group are the things that kept me from caving in those first two weeks from hell and continue to help me today. Even though I don’t post as frequently as most of you, I’m eternally grateful to you all. You have saved my life. Thank you to those that have come before us and for those who started this site. Thank you to the current administrators and moderators. Thank you to all of Pre-HOF August 2008. Life is definitely better without the monkey. It is painful, but I’m being reborn.

Here’s a post I made on my 100th day quit:

I woke up at my normal time, shower, coffee, kissed my wife and kids goodbye – said “We might go out to dinner tonight to celebrate.” Wife was like – “Celebrate? Oh yeah, today’s your 100th day. Congratulations.” As I left the house for work, they left to go run some errands.

I get in my car and sitting on the dash are handmade cards from my kids telling me how proud they are of me and congratulating me on 100 days. I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face or the tears from my eyes.

My youngest made me a card with a can of Skoal on the front of it with a red circle and slash going through it.  I never left a can lying around or in open sight, but here in colored marker is my nemesis.  Inside it said:  Happy 100th Dad!  Roses are red, Violets are blue, Don’t dip – it’s bad for you.  Thanks for everything you do Dad. We love you and are proud of you. — Wow! 

My oldest made a card with 100’s covering the front.  Inside she told me how proud she was of me and how she was so glad that I stopped dipping.  On the back of the card it said – You did it!  I was really touched by these cards.  Here are my girls telling me how proud they are of me.  I can’t put into words how proud I am of them.  I called to thank them and had to leave a voice mail and text telling them how much I appreciated the cards. 

So, I head in to my office and when I get there, my receptionist congratulates me on 100 days. Not sure how she knows it has been 100 days, but I thank her.  I head down the hall and into my office and it’s filled with 100 helium balloons with long colorful streamers coming down from each one.  My office is not small, but these are spread out and take up a large part of the ceiling.  My partners come by and congratulate me.  My assistant comes in and tells me that she’s made banana pudding for me and it’s in the break room kitchen.  She tells me that my wife planned the balloon thing and she helped pull it off.

I call my wife again to thank her and get voice mail again.  A few minutes later she and the kids show up here to see the balloons and tell me again how proud they are of this accomplishment. 

I’m extremely blessed to have the support of my family, friends, and all of you here on this board.  I don’t think I could have done it without any of you.  Nothing will be able to wipe the smile off of my face today.  I’m proud of myself and this accomplishment.  I will not dip today, or ever again.
-Monroe

The number of encouraging PM’s, emails, phone calls, and messages on the August quit group board really made my day. I can’t remember the last time I felt this good. Thank you all.

I know that I’m addicted to nicotine. I know that the cravings will continue to get less and less each day. I know there is strength in numbers. I know that if you ask for help here, you’ll get it and more. I know that you can’t keep your quit to yourself. I know that I’ve got lots of support. I know that 100 days is just a start. I know where to turn if the monkey tries to come back. I know that I can do it. I know that you can do it too.

-Monroe

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member monroe