Accountability | Brotherhood | Success – You Helped Save My Life

Ok, it’s really long. But I can and will only write one HOF speech, so I am going to take as much time and write as much as I need to. This is for you, but this is also for me. Putting some of this down on paper is helping me close the door on my quit. So please, indulge me.

I didn’t give a proper or formal introduction in that area when I came here, so I’ll use this for both my introduction to the site and HOF induction speech.

Hello, my name is JpCrew aka Jp and I am 30 years old and am an addict and chewed for 15 years.

I started when I was 15 and fell in love with the buzz. I then quickly switched to Copenhagen when the Skoal buzz ran out and didn’t look back. Plus, I’m a cowboy at heart, so Copenhagen was just the perfect fit. Not saying you’re not a cowboy if you don’t chew Copenhagen. But it helps.

In high school I chewed because my friends did. Some friends huh? But I kept doing it because hell, I was hooked. I went into the Army after graduating high school.

That is where I really solidified my chewing habit. Holy hell, I was never 3 seconds away from a chew during that time. I was a paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne Division. Copenhagen snuff was my truest battle buddy. A battle buddy is basically a term the military uses to call someone who watches your back and you watch theirs. More about battle buddies later. Copenhagen kept me awake when we were in the field training and I was on watch or patrolling at 3 a.m., was with me on every jump I made both airplanes and helicopters. Every mission. Both military (killin’) and civilian (lovin’). Everyone in the Army, well pretty much everyone, chewed or smoked. How could I not?

In Apr. ’09, we’d have Question of the Day, as most every group does to learn about their quit brothers. One question was “What was the worst thing you did for a chew” or something like that. I had two. Oh hell no, I’m not gonna tell them again. You’ll have to go back in Apr. and find them. They’re somewhere between now and 100 days back or so. Lol. Anyway, when I finally wrote them down, I knew how bad of an addict I was. What a false security blanket.

So I got out and went to school. Chewed through college. My roommate chewed too, so that made it so much easier. I didn’t have to explain why I did it or why there was a spitter sittin’ around. While in school I met my wife. We got married after I graduated and just had our first kid (daughter) who is now 8 months old.

Pretty much like everyone here, I said I’d quit when I got a girlfriend (Ok, so I’m a lame ass who didn’t get a lot of the chicks), got engaged, got married, had a kid… But I was a ninja dipper when I got married. I only dipped at work. Not on the weekends or at night and only when she wasn’t there. Anyway she finally found out. So I told her I’d quit when we had the baby in Aug. So when we did, she let it go until Sept. Then said, ok, it’s time. So I backed my way out of it and told her I couldn’t because being a new father is so stressful I’ll go nuts if I quit now. So she said ok, you can quit when she’s 4 months. Which happened to be Jan 1. New Years! Resolutionary time! Yippee, 4 more months of chewing, and now I can chew at home with her. Life just doesn’t get any better does it fellas? New baby, wonderful wife who is now letting me chew at home with her. I owe you one God. You’ve given me so much with a hot wife, new kid and now I get to chew as much as I want, as long as I want and wherever I want. If this is heaven, I can’t wait to die… oh wait, death, nicotine, chew, cancer…I won’t be around for my daughter to see her off to her first day of school, watch her graduate college or get married. Wait, but I’m the daddy. I’m supposed to walk her down the aisle and have the first dance with her. Ahh fuck. I hate chew.

Wow did her first 4 months go by quickly…wait I have to quit. I woke up Jan. 1 after a night of partying and chewing and smoking so pumped up to quit! I got this shit. I not only want to quit, I am going to quit. This is it, my time. Yeah, about 10 a.m. New Years Day, I was going nuts, freaking out. My wife said, ok, go to Wal-Mart, get; seeds, gum, the patches and a can of cope. ????? Cope? Yeah, she said, we’re gonna get you on the patch and step you down from chewing. So I did, I got all patched up and only took 2-3 chews a day, when I was chewing pretty much the whole time I was awake. Then eventually I stopped chewing and was just on the patch.

January 6, 2009 I was at work desperately searching the internet for help for quitting and boy I found it. I liked what I was reading here. For some reason I logged into the live chat. Oh cool, maybe there will be people there who can give me advice. So I started talking, actually, I started listening. There was this one guy in there. Redtrain14. He started up a conversation with me and once he learned I finally quit chewing but still was using the patch he let into me. In a good way. He motivated me so much to rip that patch off and post a day 1. I remember it to this very second. I was at work, scared shitless of losing my last security blanket. Just go cold turkey? I stuck my hand up my shirt and ripped that som’ bitch off. Then signed up and posted from then on. But by all means this hasn’t been easy. I just take it one day at a time.

I need to thank a few people for helping me along the way. There are times when all you need to do is smile, nod your head and shake their hand and they’ll know how appreciative you are of them. This isn’t one of those times. I am going to give you a big ol’ hug, squeeze tight and thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me stay quit.

Apr. ’09 – My group. My quit brothers. My Foq’rs. We did this together. Even if we haven’t chatted personally, you have always looked out for me and kept me accountable to stay quit, so thank you.

Kill the Can.org – I say Kill the Can because I’m talking to every quitter, both Vet and Newbie. Thank you for your support. Thank you for letting me hang out with you guys everyday. Thank you for helping me fit in. Thank you for letting me sometimes be immature in the Wildcard section and posting stupid things like time travel, jet packs and making fun of things. I appreciate all of you for all of your support.

Specific Apr. ’09 members – Not purposely leaving anyone off, just these few helped a bit more.

TCOPE. We quit on the same day. I thank you, because even though at the bottom of the KTC home page it tells you what day you’re on, I couldn’t ever remember from when I opened it to when I posted. So I’d just look to see what day you were on and posted the same. Thanks for calling me. It has been nice getting to know you.

Tfurrh aka Furry. Even though you are younger than me in age, you are wiser than me in quit. Thank you for making KTC enjoyable to read and post. I am glad I got to hang out with you for the past 100 days. You lead us all into each funk and came out on top. CongraDulations! With a big ol’ Wal-Mart D in it. You are funny, witty and I’m glad you are a fellow April Foq’r and I got to meet you.

NDRooster. You ol’ crazy dog. I like your spirit. I like that you post up your stories and struggles and tell us how you’ve manned up and stayed quit. Walked 18 miles in waist level snow one way to post roll just to stay quit. Hell, your passion to stay quit has helped me realize mind over matter can take you very far!

Niwot. A fellow Colorado quitter. It has been great getting to know you here. Your determination to stay quit has helped me realize that not only do I want to stay quit, I can. Thanks for your help. I appreciate it.

BigHoss44. Thank you for helping us all realize why we quit in the first place. Thank you for helping me realize that and stay quit.

Wildcat99. Aka my fellow Ninja Squad member. I thank you for supporting me these past 100 days. It is because of your support for me, that I have learned how to support other future HOF’s and give them the same unconditional support. Thank you. :ph43r:

The Ninja Squad. Obviously, I can’t tell people who you are based on our protocol, guidelines, and rules. But thank you for helping make this place fun and allowing me to be a part of such a fine group of quitters.
JpCrew Sgt-at-Arms :ph43r:

A couple of others to thank.

Redtrain14. You were the first person to help me rip off the nic patch, post up and stay quit. Thank you for helping me realize that cold turkey and getting it over with is the only way to quit. NRT’s are just delaying the process, you are still getting nicotine. Thank you for checking in on me and helping me out. I really appreciate it.

Animal. Besides Chewie’s, your PM was the first one I got and the first of many phone numbers. I didn’t add it to my phone for about 2-3 weeks though. I was like, ah shit, now I have to start calling people? Then when I realized what it was for, I quickly added it to my now long list of phones numbers of fellers on KTC. Thank you for reaching out to me. Thank you for sending me texts of wisdom. Thank you.

Chewie. What can I say that hasn’t already been said about you? You are so instrumental in so many people’s quit that I can only say thank you and pass on my support to others. Thank you for letting me be a part of this awesome place.

Chewless Jim aka CJ. Thank you for letting me post in Nov. ’07 with you guys. Them babes sure help a guy stay quit don’t they. You are a funny, dirty ol’ man that I sure am glad I met. If I’m ever out in Caly I will most definitely look you up. I appreciate that you let me also be a part of another group. You are a great admin. A great leader. A great person. Thank you. Did I mention them babes are nice too?

Outdoor Texan aka ODT. You are awesome. To come back from that? Wow. I am impressed and every time I get in a bad place, I visit your sites and look at your pics and read your story. You are amazing. You deserve everything great this world has to offer, but please know that all your great riches will come later in heaven after you have lived a long fruitful life. Keep getting as many people to quit as possible.

Jenny & Tom Kern. I’m so sorry Jenny. I know you must want Tom here everyday. I stayed quit because of the foundation of your story had on me. I don’t want to leave my family and I realized that if I continued to chew, I will. Tom has helped me realize that now. My wife thanks you too for sharing your story and helping people stay quit.

Smokeyg. I didn’t get you at first. You would always post stuff in Apr ’09 just to razz us up. I would get so frustrated with you for razzing up another Apr quit brother that I’d go on a rampage and attack you for it just to stick up for one of my brothers. Ahhh, then I realized why you did it. So we’d band together and help each other stay quit. And it worked. Apr. ’09 is a bunch of strong quitters. Thank you for your advice, crazy posts and just plain nutsness. You’re crazy! But quit! So I respect you.

Lastly, I want to thank a specific quit brother. I purposely put him down here so that at least I know that one person will have read this all the way through and not just quit reading when they got to their name. Rkymntman. Not only is he another feller Colorado quitter, he sure is one heck of a good guy. Rky is my battle buddy, as he probably is to you as well. That’s my point though. He truly helps you, through thick and thin.

My wife actually thought something was going on when i first quit when I’d text you all the time. Lol. Like I was texting a girl or something. ‘That damn kill the can’. Now she’s like, oh, how’s Jeff doing? Lmfao.

There isn’t anything I can say to truly thank you for everything you have done for me these past 100 days. I can only do something for you. I can stay quit. Thanks Jeff. May God be with your quit, your family and protect, encourage, motivate and help you and your family throughout life. I look forward to becoming better friends both at KTC and in the real world.

So thank you all for everything. You have saved my life and helped me stay quit. I’m sorry if I missed someone.

I must also thank my wife and daughter. Without their love and support, I couldn’t do anything.

Jon
:ph43r:

P.S. Here are the top 40 of the list of 100 things I will not miss because I quit chewing. There are 3 in Red that mean the most to me.

I know that 100 days isn’t the end of the road and it’s only the beginning.

1. 1. No more weird moments where you can’t spit…but need to, and at that moment someone needs to talk to you so you tilt your head back a little so as not to “spill” your own spit while you try to talk.
2. No more havn’ to tell the clerk, “No not the damn long cut or the fruity what ever…I want the copenhagen regular.”
3. No more panic attacks at airport metal detectors because you can’t remember if you have a can in your coat
4. Extra $$$ each day for healthy snacks like mint M&M’s by the pound, cheesy poofs and ho ho’s.
5. Buy a 20 oz bottle of Pop just to dump it out so you will have a spit cup for the road.
6. Drinking your own spit.
7. Having your lip so raw from dipping all day but knowing you need one more before bedtime. That last pain dip of the day.
8. Staying up late at night so you can dip by yourself in peace.
9. No more acting tired or making fake excuses wherever you are just so you can leave and stuff your face.
10. No more scanning the bathroom floor and sink for “black specks” that might give you away.
11. You don’t have to worry about “peppering” whatever’s in front of you if you unexpectedly sneeze.
12. Putting a credit card in your pocket over your can as to hide your can from bulging from your pants.
13. No spit leaking thru those wax-coated McDonald’s cups after a few hours.
14. Cleaning lady at work not grossed out anymore by emptying your office wastebasket.
15. No more recycling your dip back into the can because you’re running low and trying to ration every grain
16. No more throwing in a dip and then discovering that the only spitter you have is the one under your car seat that has been baking in the 100 degree heat for the past month and smells like rotten ass.
17. No more spilling 1/2 a can in your lap while driving, and driving the rest of the way home with your ass 2″ above the seat to keep from staining your pants.
18. No more wiping the fromundacheese from your stank ass fingers onto the carpeting below the seat of your vehicle.
19. No more FAKE declarations about quitting when the price gets up to $3.00, or $4.00, or $5.00, etc…Like we could quit if the price got too high. =
20. No more throwing your body backwards when your spit didn’t come out perfect and you have that stringer attached to your bottom lip.
21. No more having to lie when people ask, “so how much of that shit do you use a day anyway” and we would say, “oh, I don’t know, I don’t really keep track of it.”
22. No more engaging in a conversation with a non dipper and (being unable to spit or swallow) having your head start leaning back as your mouth gradually fills with brown saliva all while acting interested in the conversation only to launch a gallon of shit behind the nearsest tree after making an emergency departure from said conversation.
23. No more wondering if your the only dipper out there that wants to quit, but can’t on your own.
24. No more whimpin’ out when the stress level rises. No deal with life on life’s terms. Bring it on BEEOTCH.
25. Meetin’ some pretty cool folks on the net. even though they may be assholes in real life
26. Spilling Cope barnacles on your light colored pants and trying gently to brush them off so they don’t leave stained streaks knowing full well you have never had a successful brush-off before.
27. Getting frustrated after realizing you accidentally spit in a brand new drink.
28. No more putting in a fresh dip while driving then realizing you have no where to spit because your spitter is plugged after it sat upside down over night and froze solid.
29. No more morning breath that smells like dead ass.
30. No more having to make sure I got enough dip to make through until morning! How fucked up are we?
31. No more patting down yourself and checking every pocket to see if you got “it” with you before leaving the house.
32. No more accidentally spitting in your full beer and saying fuck it and drink it anyways.
33. No more doing the mad scramble when your supplier (pusher) is out of fix.
34. No more spending $1549.62/yr for something that can kill me.
35. No more daily ingestion of carcinogens and/or mutagens
36. No more trashcan diving for a bottle (spitter) that belonged to someone else, not bothering after awhile to wipe their spit off because you’ve done this so many times before anyways.
37. No more staying WAY much longer at work just so you could have a dip.
38. Not having a spitter and being such an addicted FUCKTARD that I throw in a fatty anyway and hold it until I have a Big Gulps worth of spit and open the car door at a light and spit. Then look up and the hottie in the car next to you is looking at you like what a looser?
39. Not having a cup in the car, chewing anyway and opening car door at lights to spit.
40. No more chewin’, period!

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member JpCrew