Always an Addict

Denial is an addicts best friend.  “I can quit whenever I want”.  “I’m not addicted to nicotine, I just have an oral fixation”.  “There are worse things to be addicted to”.  “This is my only vice”.  “You only live once”.  “We all gotta die someday”.  These are all phrases that we have spoken or heard.  Our addicted mind is always coming up with some new justification for our dangerous habit.  Why do we do this you might be wondering???  The answer is because we have to.

If we don’t come up with some justification for our habit then we have to face the grim reality that we are playing Russian roulette with a cancerous plant.  Maybe you will just blow off your jaw.  Maybe you will just blow off your tongue.  Maybe it might take your life.  We can’t control the cards life deals us but we can control this.  We can control putting nicotine in our bodies.  We can control going to the store and buying that can of Russian roulette.

Today I’m 116 days nicotine free but I will always be addicted to nicotine.  Whether it be a dip, a cigar or a cigarette.  I know that one time will reignite my addiction.  I have found that out the hard way.  So the key to success is to remind yourself every day that you are a nicotine addict.  You are never cured.  You can control your addiction by abstaining from all forms of nicotine.  I will remain humble and remember that no matter how many days I have under my belt, I know that all it takes is one time to go back to square one.  Thanks to the Marchmen of 2019 and all who have supported me through this journey thus far.  This is only the beginning.

-Jeff G

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Jeff G