Arrakisdq’s HoF Speech
Hello, my name is David and I’m an addict. That may have been one of the hardest things to come to terms with over the course the last 100 days. Once you know what you are and what you are up against you can tackle anything with the correct support.
Like many BAQ’s before me, my dipping started at an early age, 14 to be exact. Over the course of the last 41 years (I’ll turn 55 next month) I have dipped. Like many it was peer pressure, and hell everyone else was doing it. At any rate that was then, and this is now. During the last 41 years I only ever tried quitting twice, one when I was about 21 and the other 2 years ago. It was always, I will quit tomorrow. Well I never let that tomorrow come, I was not willing to do nor the desire for whatever reason. I actually stumbled on KTC back in 2016, but never thought about actually signing up. Rather I thought I could do it alone. Big mistake there as well as taking the NRT path, which is not quitting at all folks, just a replacement for the nicotine delivery.
I’m sure by know you are asking yourself why or what made you to decide to finally quit? Excellent question which many of you know the answer but don’t want to hear or admit it. For me it was my worrying about my health, specifically my oral health. I did go, or rather still do, to the dentist on a regular basis. Well over the course of the last year or so I had noticed changes, nothing overt, but changes nonetheless. In my paranoia I would have the hygienist do an oral cancer screening. Thank God those came back negative, and it was after my last visit that it finally clicked in my addict brain (a moment of clarity if you will) that I need to quit this poison consumption once and for all. On a side note, I was so addicted that after the first time I had the oral cancer screening I popped in a dip within minutes of leaving the dentist parking lot. How fucked up is that?? Bottom line here is that having part of one’s jaw or tongue removed due to cancer is a highly motivating reason to stop dipping. Fortunately, and thank God I’m ok, but I’m not going to have that concern anymore in my life. I want to be clean so that I’m healthy so that I can enjoy the company and love of my wife, adult children and grandchildren.
So, a little over 100 days ago I had that conversation with myself, I need to do this for myself, for my health, and for my wellbeing. This is important for all of you thinking about quitting, you must be doing this for you. There is plenty of material on KTC to arm you with good facts. The bottom line is that if you quit for someone else other than you, you will most likely fail and blame that person for it. When you decide to do this for yourself everyone around you will be the benefactor of your decision to quit, it was for me.
KTC is more than just a website and boards, it’s the people here. In other words, the Brotherhood and Sisterhood that exists for you to take full advantage of it. It took me a while to start warming up to sharing details with strangers I have never met before, let alone disclosing my cell number for if nothing else, texting. This is where things really started to change for me, in a very good way. I’m not sure who reached out to me first Phill or Oliver88. Needless to say, these 2 PM’d me their digits very early on in my quit, and good as my witness both have texted me every day. I’m pretty sure I know more about them than most people I work with on a daily basis. From that point I have managed to have digits for (last time I checked) 16 folks. This the accountability that you build for yourself and is what will see you through these times, it has thus far for me. I can’t stress this aspect enough, you need to have those contacts and reach outside of your own quit group.
I would like to thank a couple of folks that have been instrumental thus far in my quit. Oliver88 (Dan) you my friend are an inspiration and philosopher, thank you for the daily messages. Phill, thank you so much as well for taking me under your wing. These 2 outstanding gentlemen, in many ways, have defined what KTC is about and what I need to do for my fellow brothers and sisters. Gottodoit, thanks for your early support when I was dealing with the SSOA, and now the daily messages, thank you. Kodiak thanks for being there on a few occasions. And I can not forget about AA (Addict Architect) my brother, we have exchanged a lot of over the course of the last 3 months. Although she will most likely not see this, I must give the biggest thanks to my wife of 35 years, thank you Amy.
This first 100 days is only the beginning of many milestones to come. ODAAT, ODAAT folks, EDD!
Arrakisdq
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member arrakisdq
