Bull Moose – Feisty Goose
Something a little different this evening. I wanted to share a letter I got in the mail nearly a decade ago (yes… I’m an asshole for waiting this long). But Chewie… why did you wait so long to share? Well, if I’m being honest, it’s because it was sitting in a drawer and I just ran across it again earlier this evening. At KTC we’re all about accountability and that’s the honest to God’s truth.
In any case, this poem was sent to me back in January 2014 and after all these years I wanted to share it. I’m not sure if Donald is a member of our community or not – I’ve never been able to track him down. In any case, special thanks to Donald for sending it in and my sincere apologies for taking so long to share it with the community.
Bull Moose – Feisty Goose – a Poem by Donald Tobkin
There once was a bull moose…
got into a scowling scrap with a feisty goose
heaps of fuzzy feathers got all turned loose
feisty goose ran into some really bad news!
But the moose and goose agreed to a truce.
Then said the bull moose to the feisty goose:
I’m really tough, I tell you, I chew snoose!!
You know… snoose… it’s like tobacco juice.
I’m really tough, I tell yoo-se, I chew snoose!
Said the feisty goose to the bull moose:
Snoose will burn you like atomic acid juice
burns out your teeth like flaming fire juice
burns out your throat like blackened spruce
this will happen when you chew snoose!
In your thinking, a screw must be loose!
You be really bad dum-kopph bull mooose!
Said the bull moose to the feisty goose:
I’m really tough… like a cast iron caboose,
my teeth are like strong stainless steel stoose.
I’m really tough, you know, I chew snoose!
Said the feisty goose to the bull moose:
Your breath is sour stinky stench turned loose,
cow mooses turn away from you, bull moose.
Yeah, you say you tough… you chew snoose!
Cow mooses think you be all really bad news!
They say: “No bull moose who chew snoose!”
Said the bull moose to the feisty goose:
Yeah, my throat burns like heavy hot sluice,
my teeth rotting away from acid attack juice,
maybe soon my tongue will really rot loose,
my mouth tastes a deuce of a brutal bruise,
my breath smells like stinky stench stoose.
Said the feisty goose to the bull moose:
Good!! Now you are learning the real truths!
You chew snoose??… it’s all really bad news!
That stuff like rank rotten rancid swill juice.
You really not tough guy, you iron caboose!
All bad news, bull moose – if you chew snoose!
Said the bull moose to the feisty goose:
Here I thought I be really true blue cool moose.
I said I was really so tough… I chewed snoose!
I get your messy message now, you feisty goose.
Now, never no more snoose for this bull moose!!
Donald Tobkin – February 2010
Donald Tobkin here….. who wrote the poem (many years ago!) about the moose and the goose and snoose. In a few more days, I will mark 85 years of age….. my connections with the Internet, etc., are becoming quite infrequent (I can also speak of “delays.”). Many thanks for your 10 year-delayed response to my poetry. I do surely continue my personal commitment to absolutely no “wrong” drugs, any tobacco products, alcoholic drinks, offensive language, etc. (all the stuff I declared in my teenager years to just be “JUNK STUFF!”)
At my age now and a long, long history of watching the popular culture in our land, I say that this culture has “become treacherously overloaded with JUNK STUFF.” (Oh LORD!!)
Good to hear from you Donald – thanks for chiming in! Sorry again it took me so long to post. Glad I ran across it!
Venerable Madam/ Sir,
You must be the Messiah sent by Father Lord God Himself to the earth to help people live a good life.
My sincere gratitudes and cordial greetings to you.
It’s been 5 years ever since I had quitted chewing tobacco.
The whole credit goes to You.
Kindly, bless me to help others quit as well.
Lots of love 💕 and hugs 🤗 to you from India 🇮🇳
Yours servility,
Santosh Kumar Rai.
Congrats on 5 years of freedom Santosh – amazing accomplishment. Honored to be quit with you today!