Can’t I Just Do This On My Own?

Why did I stick with KTC (and why should you)

My Ah Ha moment came when my 7 year old son innocently asked me if I’d like him to get me some Copenhagen Snuff for Christmas.  To this day it makes me tear up to even think of that.  For the last 7 years I had worked so hard to be a great dad.  Someone my son could look up to and try to be like.  As I thought of his comment I had no doubt that in a few years he would be packing his lip with Copenhagen “Just like dad”.    Wow, what an inspiration I would be!!   A few days later I found KTC.  Read a few pages, signed up and bam, I was quit!  30+ years of Nicotine over.  No looking back!  I had it beat.  Then came day 2…take a chew or go on this crazy site and promise a bunch of random strangers that I wouldn’t?  So, did I really need KTC or could I just do this myself?

As the days went on I continued to post my promise daily and something strange hit me. Along the way I had thought, these guys don’t know me, they don’t know where I live or who I am. What do I care about letting them down.   Just buy a damn can already.  But I did care!  I really, seriously cared.  The thought of letting them down was becoming unfathomable.  I was coming to grips with how this shit works.  They trusted me and I trusted them.  Through the Groupme chat I was becoming friends with these random dudes!  Even exchanging phone numbers with them.  But seriously, did I need KTC or could I just soldier on by myself?

Then came my 1st quit vacation.  10 days hunting and fishing with no chew….what, are you kidding me?  I talked to one of the vets about posting on vacation.  Why was I worried about it?  Because I had guys counting on me to keep my promise.  I posted roll almost every day from vacation.  On a day I couldn’t I texted one of my April brothers my promise and asked him to post roll for me.  I was buying into this program now.  I survived 10 days nicotine free while hunting and fishing.  I can’t remember the last time I had held a fishing rod or gun without a dip.  But certainly I could do this myself, right?

The biggest moment came around day 90.  One of my April brothers started having issues with his quit.  Fortunately he said something on the Groupme chat room.  I wasn’t online that evening but the next morning I read the comments.  It was flat out unbelievable!!  The calvary had come crashing down on his ass!!!.  At least a ½ a dozen of our April guys and Vets had seen his message and were bombarding him from all angles.  Anger, guilt, friendship, humiliation, you name it.  In each of their own fashions they were trying to say the right thing to save this brothers quit!  I read every word of the comments from the night before.  Then I went on to post my roll.  I noticed that he was online and had posted his commitment that morning!   Unfreakinbelievable!!   Someones comment had broken though the cave fog, had made the difference in this brothers quit/cave decision the night before.  It was that moment that I saw firsthand the power of the brotherhood. Really though, do I really need KTC or could I just do this myself?

So here I am 100+ days later.  I had never told my wife or Son I was quitting.  I had this huge fear of letting them down if I didn’t make it like so many quits before.  So on day 100 I opened the envelope and held that HOF coin.  I showed them both and explained it to them.   I’m not too proud to admit that I teared up holding that coin on the morning of 100. Couldn’t help the tears and didn’t try.  My wife cried with me, my son looked at us like we were weird.  It felt so freaking good!!   I read all my brothers/sisters encouraging comments to me on roll.  Pride and sense of accomplishment were so strong that day.   But what did it really mean?  I had made it 100 days.  That’s all.  Enjoy the moment but then get on with it. ODAAT.   Time to head for the 2nd floor, then 3rd……My KTC brothers would expect no less from me.  I expect no less from them.   At this point, do I really need KTC or can I just continue myself?

For me there is no doubt, I absolutely need KTC.  The brotherhood, accountability, and commitment flat out work!  But you must believe. Don’t try to reinvent the wheel, just get with the program, get involved, and enjoy the ride!   I quite possibly owe my life to KTC, April 19 BMF’rs, and the vets.  The best way of giving back will be to pay it forward assisting new quitters.  If you are a newbie reading this hit me up.  I will gladly give you my digits and share accountability with you.

See you ALL on roll tomorrow!

Longbow66 – Proud member of APRIL 19 BMF’rs and PTQWYT

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Longbow66