Cochese598 HOF Speech – as Told by the Nic Bitch Herself
-Written and Narrated by……….. THE NIC BITCH….. herself.
Hello everyone. I’m pretty sure we have all met at one time or another, but let me introduce myself again. I am recognized by many names, some know me as Kodiak, Skoal, Copenhagen, Marlboro, Camel, Cohiba, the list goes on. Underneath all those names, I am Nicotine. I am a bitch. I am poison. I am evil to the core.
I am here today to tell you the story of the relationship I had with Cochese.
The first time we met was sometime around 1983-84, Cochese was 13ish. Him and a buddy would steal a cigarette from his friends’ mom or dad and go walk the neighborhood to smoke them. They didn’t especially enjoy it, but it made them feel like grownups or rebels. Same feeling they got from stealing beers from the fridge of same friends parents. This went on from time to time, but me, in the form of cigarettes, didn’t take hold of Cochese at this time.
In 1985, Cochese entered high school. He grew up an athlete, playing basketball, baseball, football, soccer. Baseball was his sport of choice and it’s a sport he played all the way in to college. All roads came together to form the perfect storm for me to enter his life for good his Freshman year of high school. Freshman year…… trying to find an identity, trying to fit in, trying to stand out, trying to make the team, trying to be a grown up, trying to be cool.
Someone offered him a dip of Kodiak at lunch, behind the school, where all the “cool “ kids hung out. He couldn’t say no (I can smell a fresh nicotine virgin a mile away). After all, he was trying to fit in and be cool…….Hook, Line, and Sinker…..Got Him!!!!
Cochese didn’t fall in love with me immediately, but we were dating immediately. After 1 dip, I convinced Cochese that I made sense on so many levels. I made him believe that dipping was a way to fit in with the “cool” kids behind school at lunch. Dipping was what all “real” baseball players did, just look at the pictures on all those baseball cards he collected. Dipping was a way to wave a middle finger to authority, parents, teachers etc. I convinced him It was a rebellious act, and being a rebel felt good to a 15 yr old boy fresh in high school…..Got Him…Hook, Line, and Sinker. As with most relationships, the early part was the most exciting. It’s new, it’s fresh, and you’re still getting to know each other. We were together everyday multiple times a day right off the bat. Cochese thought he was just using me, renting me like a $2 whore. I didn’t mind. I knew the truth. We were in it for the long haul; I just hadn’t let him know that yet.
Fast forward a couple years, Cochese switched to Copenahgen. No difference to me. I’m still the same Nic Bitch, just in different clothing. Copenhagen was his flavor of choice for the next 30-31 yrs. While he was playing baseball in college, I dated him and his roommate at the same time. It sounds kinky, but nobody seemed to mind. Actually it was very convenient for all involved; one roommate was always willing to share me if the other forgot to bring me along. Boys will be boys. It was very common to find multiple rolls of Copenhagen in the freezer being preserved. Those were the days when a roll was 10 cans, not 5. They always made sure they had enough of me to go around, even before they bought food. Got to have your priorities straight, right?
Fast forward 5 years. This was the 1st time that Cochese thought that we might not be good for each other. We had been together for 11 years at this point. Cochese had no idea how deep I can sink my claws in over the course of 11 years. He was not prepared to handle what I threw at him when he tried to leave me. It was actually very comical and a little expensive for him too. He lived across the street from a convenience store, literally 50 yds away. Not a good start right? He would empty a can and say “that’s it, I’m done” only to be over at the store a couple hours later. This went on for months with no luck in him getting rid of me. My favorite thing he did was when he would go to the store, buy a can, take 1 dip, and throw the can away as he walked home. That happened more than he cares to mention and those 1 dip cans were certainly expensive over time.
After he realized I wasn’t going away, he embraced me full force again. You see, I never allowed the term addict to enter his mind. I made him believe that we couldn’t be separated because he loved me. It wasn’t that he was addicted. I had him believe that he could quit me, but only when he decided that he didn’t love me anymore. So…because he “loved me”, Cochese and I were ALWAYS together. We did everything, and I mean everything together. We experienced another 2 decades of life together. He allowed me to continue to be a part of every aspect of his life. (The hooks go deeper).
In this story it’s now 2015, and for me this gets exciting. Because it is now that Cochese and I start playing games. Cochese is now married with kids, doing adult stuff. Neither Cochese nor myself can remember how or why this started, but we started keeping our relationship hidden from his wife. I was now the mistress, so exciting. I supposed he told his wife that he had dumped me. Likely for Insurance reasons, or just “that shit is nasty” reasons, who knows? Either way, we did not separate. We had to work a whole lot harder to keep our relationship together while we kept it secret. Well, I didn’t. I was just along for the ride. He’s the full blown addict carrying me around right? I did my work early in the relationship to get him hooked, I’ve been on cruise control ever since. So 2 years pass by with me being the other woman. I think some people refer to the way Cochese treated me during this time as “Ninja Dipping”. He was awesomely creative at cheating on his wife with me.
November 2017, another perfect storm is brewing in Cochese’world. He is 6 months in to a program to change some bad habits. He is eating healthy and getting regular exercise. He looks and feels better than he has in a decade. His (smokers policy) life insurance is also up for renewal. He has a smoker policy because of dip. The cost of that policy is up 50% in a short period of time. A little odd for a regular dipper is that Cochese actual has been seeing a dentist regularly for couple years now. That dentist says he needs a procedure that he would be limited on what his mouth does for several days. Only certain food, no straws, no tobacco, no spitting………Hold on…….no spitting, no tobacco? For 3 days? Are you fucking kidding me? Is that even possible?
The news scared Cochese. We hadn’t been apart for 3 days in over 20 years. It didn’t scare me. I knew we would be right back together once this passed. We always were. Cochese went forward with the dentist procedure. While we were apart, he started thinking about all the positive changes that he had made in his life and thought about me, the Nic Bitch. In his mind, it didn’t make sense for us to be together anymore. That’s when he started looking up how to quit and found KTC. By the time the dentist cleared him, he was signed up and posted roll…..Day 4 was his 1st post. I was still not worried. Nothing ever separated us forever. After he started reading more on KTC, he realized something that I knew all along but he never did. Cochese realized he is an addict. We went through the motions on KTC for about 30 days. Post roll every day, don’t dip, and repeat. After 30 days, I got a little concerned that Cochese was serious about this. I underestimated this process a little, so I went on the attack. I started playing the mind games that I’m so good at. KTC helped him fend off that shit.
So here we are at 100 days quit, and frankly I’m pissed. I have lost Cochese. I thought I had a keeper for life until KTC came along. Cochese alone could never quit, Cochese along with the Underground Railroad can quit like a champ! That Damn Underground Railroad….I hold them responsible. I’m losing a lot of nicotine relationships with people in that group, but today I’m pissed I have lost Cochese. KTC has an enormous amount of information for people trying to break up with me. The system they use is tried and true with proven results. Most importantly it’s the people involved. Damn all of you that traded numbers with Cochese. You were the most important part of motivating him to leave me. If no one held him accountable like all of you did, we would be together again. The list of people that are responsible for his quit is long and illustrious. I would like to list them all, but out of fear of forgetting one, I will list none. Just know that if you are reading this now, then you likely played a role in Cochese quitting and I hold you responsible. From the Veterans that showed him the path to travel to his fellow quitters walking that same path with him now, you all are responsible for his quit.
Cochese has left me but I will not give up. I will keep trying to get him back. It’s getting harder as time goes by, but as long as he has all of you, we will never be together again. For that, I owe you all a payback……..For that…Cochese owes you his life!
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Cochese598
