Cool As Ice – Smokeyg’s HOF speech

Fellow Quitters,

I used to pee sitting down so I could “enjoy” a chew in the privacy of my bathroom. Now I pee standing up. I couldn’t have done it without the people below:

First and foremost, Smokeyg – You sir are one badass quitter. I mean, really, wow, it’s humbling to be here in your ever-quittin’ presence.

MY AUGUST BROTHERS/SISTER

Sweenz – Your dot garnering skills were second to none in August. The effort and energy you devoted to this site was a great inspiration for me. I wanted nothing more than to surpass you, but it wasn’t to be.

BC – You are fucking psycho. I mean cracking hazelnuts with your asshole insane. Thanks for the rage and the laughs. You’ve definitely left your stamp on this entire site and your often illogical threats helped innumerable people stay quit.

Brent – Your phone call, which kind of felt like talking to a girl before the first date for some odd reason, helped make these weird little avatars actual people in my mind. Much thanks for all the support you gave to August and our followers. You are the master of linking random shit for a laugh or kick in the mangina.

Jblplyr – You have the most confusing screen name of anyone on this site. You’re also one hell of a quitter. Thanks for the support.

JW – Thanks for having my back. Using my dog poop analogy as part of your signature made my heart go thump.

65fl – You are a wise old man who likes to hump big ol’ lady rump. Thanks for paving the way for all us August headcases and keeping us in check. I really appreciated hearing about your midpoint struggles and eventual rise to Viagra induced glory. Hi Marge!

ZAE – Great story. Compelling, and rich. Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?

Hazard – Your deep thoughts got me through some tough times. King of the one liner.

Monroe – Like BC said, thanks for sharing that wonderful HOF morning experience with us. It made me want to impregnate my wife ASAP.

To the rest of my August Brothers and Sister (CTD2500, NoDipNow, TheStrick, LSD, Mr. Deloac, Monroe, Orange, Normanite, Mergs, Wolfgang, AtomicDiesel, Gracie, ChewMonkey (I apologize if I missed anyone) – Thank you for your dedication to your quit. There’s definitely strength in numbers. Watching you progress and seeing your dedication helped me get to day 100 and will continue helping me as we move forward together.

VETERANS OF QUIT

Ready – I was going to put you later on this list, but you are one supportive sumbitch. Thanks for all the time you put into this site and for getting BC all hot and bothered. Putz.

Mule – Thanks for always being there for August, even if it was just signing roll some days, you were always there. I relished the TIFFS and …

tnuC – You helped build my accountability early and provided a great sounding board for my frustrations. I was actually glad to see you move away from this site and do your own thing. August will work to pass on your legacy. Mantastic.

BBJ – You were a great addition to the site – you joined “QUIT” and paid it forward every day. Oh yeah, my wife says the European bike tour is “just us”.

NIT – You were the first one to greet me when I joined the August group. When all the veterans were calling me a “know it all prima donna”, you had my back. Grazi.

Chewie – Thanks for the information and technical help and for introducing me to salmon.

ODT – you didn’t say much in August, but you’re a major inspiration to me and I’m hoping everyone else on this site. Thanks for giving so much back.

DIPSHITS (aka AUGUST WANNA BEs)

Jpine – you are a cumgargling Mary Fuckins, but you helped my quit bigtime in the early stages.

Monty – I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something about you that I find extremely irritating, yet vaguely helpful.

Closer – I will never let you babysit my future children, especially if I have a dyslexic son. Nice perv-a-tars. Ummm….maybe you can dogsit for me sometime so long as you bring a condom.

NEWBIES

Edward – your phone call to the adult toy warehouse may have been the highlight of the past 100 days on this site. You have big muscles too….

The rest of September – it’s about high time you start paying it forward. Get into those newer groups and make ’em laugh, piss ’em off, give ’em advice and a manly shoulder to cry on.

October – Yeah! A personality! Any personality!!

November – I’m digging the honesty and accountability over there. Stay involved. Past mistakes and all, you folks are one helluva quittin’ group.

December – Here’s an example of what this site is here for. Let it all out here:

Smokeyg – Day 13
Shit – I’m building a deck today and I keep fucking up. My wife has that look on her face like “you’re fucking useless, but I’m not going to say anything because you’re quitting chew”. FUCK YOU NIC BITCH and FUCK YOU lack of carpentry skills. I will not chew today. I will not do anything that causes the police to come knocking on my door. FUCKKKK!!!!!!

Words of Wisdom – the HOF is a great accomplishment, but it’s nowhere near the end. I am still battling my addiction and this site will continue to provide me strength in the future. To the admins/mods/vets and especially my August brothers – this forum saved my marriage and my life. Thank you.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Smokeyg