Day 100 (Again)

I will say it…100 days is not an accomplishment for me. “What you say, who is this jackass? This guy has 2 balls not 3, kick him out of May NOW!!” Why would I make such a jackassery statement on a site that views this as a huge milestone? Let’s see what kind of nonsense I come up with…

My Pathetic addiction history first: (I am an alcoholic, I do not have exact dates)
– Chewed and Smoked from 17 to 26
– Drank from 17 to 36
– Chewed from 33 to 38

I started chewing again after over 2000 days of quit. Why? At the time I came up with the great idea that by chewing I could moderate my drinking. Oh the joys of being an addict. Has that theory ever worked? Smoke instead of chewing, chewing in place of smoking, and drinking beer instead of vodka? I mean seriously stupid shit that any normal person would laugh at but in our addict minds we rationalize as great ideas.

I think it’s pretty straight forward, if I take another drink or cave to the bitch I need to tell my kids that I would rather have my face eaten off by cancer or my liver rotted away then to see them grow up. I find it funny that some would say my sobriety has made me boring but you know what I will take Boring, Sober, Tobacco Free and Alive over the other options any day.

To me Day 100 will mean something when I get to see my kids and any future grandkids grow up. Until then I am thankful of reaching the milestone but also mindful that I have already hit day 100 before and I have already done irreversible damage to my health by starting up again.

Ever Since KTC found me I start every day the same…I will not drink or chew today. Day 1, Day 100, Day 2000 means absolutely nothing if I start chewing or drinking tomorrow.

Thank You KTC and thank you to my May brothers for all the support.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member bryank530