Day 125…. After 29 Years of Slavery To Nicotine

DAY 125…..

It’s hard to sit here and think back on my messed up life. Why am I here today? What makes me different than any of you? The answer is….. Nothing! The only difference is my name and where I grew up.

Hi, my name is Christopher Daniels. I am from several small towns around the Abilene Texas area. I come from multi-broken homes, with lots of step dads along the way (hence the several small towns). I was in the fifth grade when my dance with the nic bitch began. At the time who I thought of as one of the cool guys came over to me and my friends, pulled out a can with a silver top. Here try this he said, what a rush that was. My head was all spinning and it made me feel light as a feather. You hear that it makes you sick the first time you try it. Not me, I had to run to the store and get my own can after school. That’s right; when I started there was no age limit on buying it. If you had .75 cents you could have one.

It was not long before I was up to a can a day. At school I learned how to make spitters out of paper and hide it in my jacket. Dipped in every class and thought it was cool. I was quite the ninja dipper around my family and teachers. As time went on dipping sometimes was not enough, so I thought shit the girls are all smoking let’s try that to. So to impress the girls I smoked around them, of course the drinking soon followed among other things but that’s another story.

One day my mother found some of my umm… stash of the non-tobacco variety that was hidden in my room. She flipped out threatened to call the cops on me and all. She also found some empty cans of Copenhagen. So I had to hurry up and come up with a plan. My 16 year old addict mind came up with this on the spot. “OK Ok mom I am sorry, I promise I will never smoke that stuff again if you just let me keep my snuff.” WOW…. Yes I went there and guess what it worked. Not only did it work but hell she would even buy it for me. What a deal I had, a never ending supply of snuff.

Over the years of self-neglect and self-destruction, I began to sense a strong connection between my bad attitude and the nic bitch. With a super short fuse I could get pissed at any time for any reason. With two failed marriages behind me I knew I was in a bad place. I now have been married for 3 years to my third wife, she is a little younger than I am. I have two kids from my last wife and with my wife now I have one more with another on the way. I knew if I did not change I would mess it up again.

The nic bitch is a thief and a liar. All the time telling me that I am ok and to use her to calm down. Meanwhile stabbing me in the back and steeling my life from right under my feet. Like most of you here the high from the dip I was looking for was getting harder and harder to find. The more I dipped the more I wanted. Then hard times hit the money gets tight. To try and save money I stared to put my dip back in the can and re-dip it later. What a nasty ass I had become. As a result from this re-dipping I would crave more and more to the point of falling asleep with the shit in my mouth. Like I said just like alot of you here have done.

Finally after 29 years I began to develop a deep inner hate for the nic bitch, the more I hated her the more I wanted to quit. It was time to put a stop to this shit. I picked up my phone went to the web and typed in how to quit dipping. The KTC site popped up. I went on and read for a few hours (with a dip in) of course how pathetic was I? After reading some of the cancer stories and some of the HOF speeches I began to cry uncontrollably. On November the 20th at 11:15 pm I spit out my dip and flushed my can down the toilet. I woke up the next morning and posted roll instead of reaching for a can. I have been doing that for 125 days now. I had one hell of a scare in the beginning of my quit. I thought there was going to be another cancer story to add on KTC for other to read. I was very lucky and was given a second chance.

I know that I owe my life to this site and the many on here that have helped me. I have made it a point to text every single one of them every day since the beginning of my quit for extra ACCOUNTABILITY. The list has grown in the past 125 days. BROTHERHOOD: Wastepanel, Bruce, Adigg, Battleherc, Bfender, Bigeric, Bigwhitebeast, Blazer1975, Boelker, Cmark, Enragedthor, Evil one, Ffmoofus, Getsome29, Goodtowner, Irish62, Itsgot2happen, JAL1968, Jaynellie, Jbedford, Mardo, Mich34, Mthomas, OIB, Razd611, Redtrain14, Rlibicer59, Show, Sportsfan, Tazbutane, Wendell12, and my bad ass friend in arms WMCATTY. All the countless others on the site that are not in my phones please know that all of you have helped in your own way. One very special person that most of you do not know except Catty for some reason… Mrs. Cdaniels. With her help combined with all of you, I have all the tools I need to keep the nic bitch at bay. Proud as hell to be quit with each and every one of ya’ll today. One day at a time. Never again for any reason.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member cdaniels