Day 200 For BURGER78

You can throw your hands up
You can beat the clock
You can move a mountain
You can break rocks
You can be a master
Don’t wait for luck
Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself
Standing in the hall of fame

A trip to the Oral surgeon and the talk of the C word was the final straw, kind of…even after the warning, the very first thing I did was get in my truck and do what I had done for 24 years..put a dip in to ease the anxiety. I Called the GF on my way home that day and told her I am ready to quit.  3 days later I took a chew out for the last time.  Even talk of cancer wasn’t enough for cold turkey took me 3 days-brutal how the NIc bitch works.

I started at 16 years old.  A hockey buddy gave me a dip.  It was like magic, the energy, the buzz, the ability to keep me awake late at night on my drive home from practices and games.  It went from a hockey thing, to a night time thing, to ninja dipping in high school classes, to carrying a spit bottle around 24/7.

Mint Skoal was my go to, even after they banned flavoured tobacco in Ontario, I switched to Straight and would occasionally find a way to get Mint. Upwards of $30 per can, 1 can per day, sometimes 2.  I cannot believe how stupid I was.  I chewed non stop, from the time I woke til the time I went to bed, and a lot of nights would sleep half the night with a chew in.  The only time it came out was to eat.  My kids, family and friends all came to accept this disgusting habit.

200 days ago, I was skeptical, I was unsure of what I needed, yes I needed to quit, but did I need a bunch of strangers to answer to, to be hounded by , to be constantly reminded that I am quit, always bringing the can into my mind.  “This is stupid” I said.  I almost left the group on day 7.  I posted roll but like a lot of us have done..I messed it up, not sure what I did, but I didn’t post.  I got a message saying I jacked roll…I was pissed at myself and the site, for letting myself and my fellow quitters down.  “I don’t need the hassle, I can do this on my own!”  As the day went on and I read more HOF speeches, and browsed the comments I decided I will give it another go, and I am glad that I did, I am not saying I would have caved, but I know my odds of staying quit were better with all the glorious quitters at KTC.  I want to thank everyone in September 2019 group, and any vet that I have crossed paths with.

Routine, habit and addiction got me into this mess, it is gonna get me out of it.  WUPP is my new routine, scrolling KTC site is now a habit, and I am addicted to staying quit ODAAT.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member BURGER78