Deadbob’s HOF Speech
Hello. My name is Ricardo John Valdes. I go by Rick or R.J. I’m an addict. I’m addicted to Nicotine. I have been for over half my life. I will be for the rest of my living days. However, I will not let it control me any longer.
15 years ago, I made what was by far and away the stupidest decision of my life. I did not know it then. I know it now. It was then that I put a burning paper tube stuffed with brown flakes in my mouth and tried to breath through it. It made me gag. It made me choke. It made me throw up. It made me ask for more…
6 years later, I went through Marine boot camp. During those 92 days of hell, I was striped of everything. They took away my hair. They took away my fear, they took away my name… but they did not take away my addiction.
1 year later I gave up being a “Marlboro man.” I traded my smokes for the Cherry Tree… Cherry Skoal. A few years later, I turned to the Pirate Bear… Kodiak Wintergreen. Copenhagen Log cut was my last poison of choice. The entire time Cannonball Chaw was reserved for the field.
Sometime during the following 5 years, I lost the tobacco high. I lost the satisfaction a dip would bring me. I even lost the desire to dip, but I was unable to stop. I came to realize that I was no longer a Nicotine addict. I was a Nicotine SLAVE. I even came to ACCEPT the fact that tobacco would kill me. My justification: I would rather die by my own hand than someone else’s. I was miserable, and I would live like this for the following 3 years.
Then the strangest thing happened… Before my girlfriends College Commencement Ceremony started, she asked me, “Why do you have to ruin EVERYTHING special by putting that shit in your mouth!” That statement was filled with so much hate and disdain that cut to my very core. It was a low blow and it pissed me off. It has also echoed through my head for the past 3 months.
The following day was June 17, 2006. It was that evening when my life change. I had taken my dog to the dog park to let him run around. It was there that I looked down at that cardboard container and became sick. I wanted nothing to do with it and I wanted it gone. I threw that freshly opened can of Copenhagen into the sunset.
The next day I found quitsmokeless.org. I joined my (now small and somewhat dysfunctional) quit group, the September ’06 Smart-Ass Bandits. It was this group of guys that helped me break through the 3-week wall I had slammed into so many times with previous quits. I talked about, vented about and chronicled all my “miss-adventures.” In the past 100 days, my life has literally been turned on its ear. It is unbelievable how much has gone wrong. Yet I was stubborn enough not to allow myself to cave.
I need to thank Smithy, GMS, ATMHockey, Gearyboy, mtneer, a host of vets and anyone I forgot to mention for listening to my constant bitching & kicking me in the ass when I wanted to cave. I would like to thank Google for giving me QS.org when I clicked the “I’m feeling lucky” button. But most of all, I need to thank Tiffany Rose Koseski, my loving girlfriend. As much as we may fight, bicker and generally drive each other up a wall, you were the catalyst for all of this. I realize now that what you said out of spite and anger was directed at my addiction and not at me. It was the jump-start I needed. Rest assured baby girl, Nicotine will no longer ruin anything special between us.
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member deadbob
