Did I Make It To The Quit On Time

As you sit on the side of a stream, or the beach with the surf flowing in and out of your legs and you notice something floating along minding its own business you have found my planet.

With no thought to what might come tomorrow if the wind blew a little harder I began my love affair with nic. Small little smokestacks slowly went up on every contentment polluting the air around the beautiful mountain meadow. A decree was ordered to shift suppliers; there must be a better system of transporting nic into the blood flow. The answer was in skoal longcut…. Wintergreen. Has a certain rhythm to the way you say it. If you do not say it right the person behind the counter does not know what the hell you are talking about and starts pointing at all the round cans. Ugh!

I did not want anyone to know this issue, they thought I was clean and being healthy. What no one knows will not hurt you. The Denial Ages from 22-35 I did not even give nic a second thought and basically lived with it in my lip as much and as often as I could when I was alone.

Things started happening that brought up the need to quit:

1. a co-worker was bitching about her dad being diagnosed with throat cancer and I thought this could be one of my daughters 20 years from now.
2. A set of triplets lost their dad to throat cancer and he was 40 something. I had to help them through that period in their life and once again I saw the writing on the wall.
3. So I set out to quit one day with a patch, made it a good while and just didn’t make it. Basically I was trying to quit 35-45 years. The big 10 year quit. I kept telling myself that if I were to have damage it is done already and quitting would have no benefit at all and I would be miserable. What a selfish ass I was.
4. My best friend quit for a year and I was impressed. It actually began due to one of my quits and I did not make it and he did. Then he joined me after a year of quit once more.
5. I went on a trip to Montana and toured the University of Montana, Montana Tech, Carol College, and the Montana State University. Every campus had a quit tobacco group and everywhere I was a sign telling me it is time to quit. Flashing everywhere were signs and billboards. I was not even enjoying the dip anymore but saw I was all consumed by the need for nic.
6. I decided it was time to go to the Dr and get this all figured out. I did not want to die just yet like I thought, I am not tired of living and I want to be healthy. Was I too late?
7. For the first time I was completely honest with someone. I do not think I had been honest with anyone for sometime. She obviously recommend I give quit another try and so with help I did. I quit.

Chantix starts out telling you that you need to smoke while starting this drug. Yahoo, The Dr is basically giving me permission to Chew. How cool is that? After the first day of that and getting to the end of a can and deciding to jump over the edge to free fall into quietness and prey that a parachute will open, I crammed the last of that can in my mouth and set out to find some sort of support on the internet.

Ta daw I read what the sight was about, lurked around a couple hrs reading the information, testimonials and the face page realizing this is where I need to be. I register, got instant approval from Franpro and off I went. Got on chat and my first experience was Last chance with his weird eye man aviator commanding me to get rid of that last dip in my mouth( is big brother watching me through the screen, is something going to come out of the screen and suck my skin off? This is the moment. This is the time. This is the place.

One of the first things I noticed is the lost names, who are all those people that are not posting and not connected? I do not want to be in that area. I noticed the freedom of expression and the opportunity to rage against all forms of demon you might have to fight. As long as you do not make fun of other people’s children then you can pretty much say what you want and let it all out. It’s even ok if someone pisses you off because anything is better if it helps you process your situation and get you over this trip.

AND THE TRIP CONTINUES HERE: It was really hard for me to accept the new crew of quitters after Feb. 21. It was like having to relive the birth of my little brother taking the spotlight off me. That is important for each person to realize eventually you have to do it for yourself and you can after time, but the is why ONE NEEDS TO CONTINUE to support this place and other quitters. The Trip does not end, it gets better.

So did I make it to the quit on time? There seems to be a threshold of age here on the sight. You do not see a whole lot of 60 year old quitters. Thank goodness we see lots of 20 something’s and teens here. And you know it doesn’t matter as long as you are quit. Thanks

Every single person that posted no matter so small makes a difference to each of us. Thank-s for support. LONG LIST OF PEOPLE>Ok this is the third time to try and get people into here. it is beginning to make me mad. but not dip.

Anyway, Last chance, chewless jim, Ready, and Kevin Ravins were definitely there to get me going and understand the ways of posting.

This would be a good place to talk about all the people helping each other out because someone who helped smokey at one time, he pasted that on and has helped me out.that is for sure.

Kdip my phone buddy, thanks, I do not know where I would be without you. Perfect stranger on the phone helping me out. that is what this is all about. quit brothers for life.

my day is not complete seeing grateful, and justquit post roll. everyone for that matter. Posting is good.

It is definitely awesome to see the progress of Hydro, syndrome makes my day. and so does samsdad with pinhead. I love all the antics and love spread across the sight.

Keep quit and share it with a friend. My number one buddy Jesus got me here somehow and keeps helping me out of difficult situations. He still changes water into beer, he showed me. Peace out.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Ricko