Digging a Quit Hole

Okay, day #13 quit. The suck is gone, and the mind games are here. If I see anything round out of the corner of my eye, it’s a can of cope. As I type this, there’s a focking rubber band just in the corner of my vision. It becomes a can of Copenhagen. They said there’d be days like this.

A couple of observations I’ve made in this short journey:

The first one is that I’m an addict. This realization hit me during the suck, and it hit hard. I came to this site to quit, but I wasn’t an addict. I wasn’t addicted to nicotine, no way. I just had a strong habit that I needed to break. Now I’m a focking addict. I really hate that about myself, but I have to learn to live with it. I can’t change the color of my skin, and I can’t get rid of this addiction.

The second one is that I need you, all of you. I figured I could just come and post roll every day for 100 days, and then leave. I didn’t need other people’s phone numbers, I’m not going to cave, I’m not going to need anyone. Hah! If you’re serious about your quit (and I am), then you need your brothers for support. At some point, I’m going to reach out for help. I have peoples’ digits. I also reach out to others in my group that may need help. I know how hard this is for me. It’s just as hard for everyone else.

Another thing I’ve learned is that you have to be serious to quit. That’s kind of a given, once you realize you’re an addict. Addiction is serious stuff.

I’ve also dug myself a pretty deep “quit hole”. I’ve expressed my $.02 on a lot of topics, and become an administrator for the accountability spreadsheet. If I cave, not only will I be breaking a promise to me and all of you, I will be the biggest hypocrite this site has ever seen.

Quit on, brothers and sisters, quit on!

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan community member wildirish317