ExNuke HOF Speech – What’s Different This Time?
So here I sit on day 117 (April 28, 2014) watching the fucking snow still falling from the sky, and realizing that I will have many more miserable springs left in the state of WY since I no longer have Copenhagen slowing killing me off.
I look back at my intro…
“Over the years I have stopped and restarted dipping at least a half dozen times. It never fails, I will be out golfing, or working in the shop, and I always think “Just one won’t hurt…”, then “Just one more won’t hurt….”, then pretty soon I am buying a new can. I have finally realized that there can be no “just one more” for me. Time to quit for good this time!”
… and I realize that that is the same story of many of the individuals on this site, where “just one more can’t hurt…” Let me tell you how many times I told myself that and ended right back at the point of buying a can a few days later, I am almost out of fingers to count that high.
What is the difference this time? It is this site, KTC and all of the support that I have received from other quitters who came before, and a few after me. Without the accountability that this site instills in all of the members, I would have long ago picked up another can just because I am an addict, and always will be. Has it gotten easier over the past 100+ days, sure it has, but there are always those times where I am still ready to ‘bang head’, and I have to be prepared for those triggers.
Some of my strongest support has come from a small core group of guys who exchanged their numbers with me and we communicate throughout the day. Without Winter Green, PBrain, and Slug.go my quit would have come to a screeching halt. One of my first experiences with the accountability was with Zillah Cowboy hunting me down since I got bumped and looked like I missed roll, the accountability is everything, and that accountability truly grows the brotherhood that we enjoy today.
On the lighter side of things, I have taken great pleasure in watching all of the drama between groups and members, from Snowflake telling LOOT to fuck off to James Gordon and that crazy ass shit that took over May14, it has kept me laughing and waiting to see what the next step was going to be. I find myself trolling around frequently just to see what shit is being stirred up throughout the day and hoping to be able to get into the middle of it.
Overall, thank you to everyone that has helped me get to this point, I would not be here without the support of many, and the direction of a few.
To those of you reading this who still have that shit in your lip, dump it out, wash out your can, and journey into the fog. I promise, it will suck for a while, but there will come a point where you will be glad that you have started this journey, and you will be grateful for the support of KTC even with the old-school “tough-love” mentality that can seem abrasive at first, but is a critical aspect of the success of all who are here.
-Brett
aka ExNuke
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member ExNuke
