Free and Clean

“I started dipping Copenhagen in the army at 21, that puts me right around 14 years of stupid. On Monday July 14th I took my last dip.” ~ Divarty

That’s how my story here at KTC began. As beginnings go it’s not too bad, this HOF speech is somewhere in the middle of my story, the end is far down the road, many years in the future when I have finally beaten this addiction that has haunted so many of us.

I did the math the other day and 14 years is right around 5110 days. I’ve been alive on this planet for around 12775 days which means that before I started dipping I had lived free for 7665 days. Now I’m at 129 days free and clean. I’ve put all these numbers into days as that is how we measure our success at KTC. At first by a single minute at a time then a day at a time, with a goal of 100 days, then further goals of 200, 300, 1000 days and on and on.

These 129 days did not come without a price, I paid in the fog, the irritability, irrational thoughts, headaches, constipation, muscle aches, you name it I suffered it. I used to believe that the dip helped me do more in a day; I would have down spikes in energy where I couldn’t do anything without the dip to lift me up. Turns out it was my body coming off my last dip causing that down spike, how’s that for a head game? These 129 days also did not come without benefit, I lead my own life now, and no longer worry about where the next fix is going to be. I don’t have to fear my wife smelling that shit on my breath or finding my can. Going through airport security is no longer a nervous moment for me (if they find my can and pull it out where my wife sees it). My blood pressure is down, my resting heart rate is about 20bpm lower and I no longer have numb fingers and toes when it gets cold out ? Life is good.

If your reading this and just stopped dipping, or are thinking about stopping, a common phrase around here to new brothers is “If I can stop, you can stop” and it rings of truth. If I can do this, you can do this. Keep your head in the game, own this quit, it’s about yourself, not about how tough you are or how long you’ve been doing this, it’s about how much you want to own your life again. Read what this site has to offer, accept the support of your new brothers, stay quit and pass it forward. These are the tenets of KTC and I’m proud to be a member.

Divarty 129 days free and clean.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member divarty