Gunnar’s First Hundy
Here I am at 100 days (well 104 now but who is counting….). The fog is gone, the craves are less. I’m off the jolly ranchers (thank god), and only eat seeds to and from work. I’ve recently got myself back into a consistent work out regimen, running 4-6 days a week. I still think about chew everyday, I just had a dip dream the other night and it was the worst one I’ve had yet. I wake up and post roll every damn day.
All that said, I freaking love being quit! I have reached out to many other quitters and have daily text strings with several supporters, UncleRico, Chris2alaska, Justin J, Copeshow, Candoit. Some of these guys must text a hundred or more people everyday, considering how often I see their names coming up in posts. Impressive guys! If I’m able to pay it forward a fraction of what you guys have done I’ll consider that a win. I would’ve never suspected that I’d be giving my number out on an internet site to “random” strangers. What I came to learn is these aren’t random strangers, these are all guys who have been through exactly what I was going through. They knew better than any friend or family member could.
To my Mayhem group, you guys are a huge rock in my quit foundation. Appreciate the kind words, kicks in the ass, and pick me ups. I’m hear for any one of you anytime, if you don’t have my digits and want them PM me and you’ll have them. Dawgs, AW, Rick, Ed, MLovell.
My family, wife of 15 years, 4 year old daughter, and 1 year old son. I didn’t quit for you, I quit so I’d have a better chance of being with you longer. I quit so you kids will never again see me dip and hopefully you are young enough you never understood it and won’t remember I did. My parents were both nic addicts and my dad was an alcoholic, not making excuses, but I will not be that kind of role model for my kids. It just won’t happen. I’ll do plenty of other crap wrong in front of them but I won’t teach them it’s ok to use nicotine, use drugs, or be an alcoholic. Likely you’ll never read this and that’s ok.
To any nic addicts reading this, if I can quit so can you. I chewed for 25 years. I quit at age 39. For the last 10+ years I chewed all day everyday. If I was awake and not eating I had a dip in. Work, home, church, kids, wife, didn’t matter who was around or what I was doing. I was ninja style and would get busted every now and again, but I didn’t really care by the end. What a asshole, moron, dipshit, loser I was. I am an addict and always will be and the realization of that was a big driver in my quit. The physical symptoms of quitting only strengthened my quit. In my intro I talk about the moment I knew I was done. It was the moment I realized my chew addiction was no better than a meth or heroine addiction. I was a fully functional addict who needed help. KTC and the brothers on this site were that help, they are a life line dropped in by god for me and for anyone out there that makes the decision to quit.
Make the decision and WUPP everyday. Close that chapter of your life and move on to something so much better.
Rage said it best:
It has to start sometime.
What better place than here,
What better time than now?
All hell can’t stop us now
Quit right now and don’t ever look back, you will never regret kicking nicotine out of your life.
Gunnar HOF date 5/19/2019
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Gunnar
