Hndgnnr HOF – Making The Right Choice This Time

Man is it a wonderful world without dipping. It all started out for me around 7th grade with a cousin of mine and a fresh can of skoal wintergreen. By the time I entered high school I was dipping basically every time I could get away from my parents or sisters. Somewhere during my high school stretch, most of my friends from football and baseball were dipping. After getting my drivers license, my tobacco use was full blown 1 can a day. I was under the impression that I was not addicted, and I chewed because I liked it. I found that I would feel better while I was chewing. I could not watch a movie, drive a car, go fishing or even do my homework without a dip in. Before I moved away for college I would lock myself in my room at my parents house just to sit and dip without my dad catching me. He was very “disappointed” that I continued my tobacoo use. I say disappointed because it is worse than someone being “mad”. Shortly after I had successfully quit chewing.

For whatever reason I started up chewing again during a road trip I took with a friend. I went away to college in 2006, and continued to chew up until Oct 2012 where I met the KTC brothers. Soon after I graduated from college and entered the work force, I found myself very stressed. I lost an uncle in a farm accident, I had some relatively minor heath problems due to stress (acid reflux, insomnia, headaches) mmm wonder if all the alcohol and dip had anything to do with it… While I am fine now, I went months with horrible acid reflux problems. Anxiety is fairly common with me, and the only thing that would help me was the nic bitch. I would get within a few weeks of a quit and I would freak out. Like Georgia31 went through….I developed a HUGE health anxiety in regards to my mouth. I was sitting around trying to figure out a way to quit dipping and ran across KTC.org.

I read some advice…and quit on my own for about 14 days before returning to the website and joining. I was tired of running to the gas station, tired of the girlfriend bitching, tired of having a sore mouth and worrying about everything. Canker sores and inflammed tastebuds on my tongue turned into heart palpatations and high blood pressure due to my anxiety issues. I know know after meeting everyone on KTC, that I was not the only person who was addicted. I never thought about anything related to my actions. I spent the first few years with my girlfriend being a closet dipper. I would take a dip over sex many nights during the week and while on vacations. Most notably our Vegas trip, where I dipped the ENTIRE time while I was in the hotel room with her. How many times did I spill a full can of Grizz in my car…how many times did I knock over a spitter….how many times did I spit in an empty dip can because thats all I could find…way to many of the above. Everyone that has ever dipped can relate to all this, and knows exactly what I mean about recycling a dip, whether it means back in the can, or on top the lid….how fucked up is that??

To summarize everything I have been rambling on about I will leave with my biggest motivator. I work in healthcare as a imaging engineer. Prior to xray I worked as a biomedical technician repairing and maintaining clinical medical equipment. Keeping people alive with equipment I repaired and maintained was gratifying. To think of myself in a similar situation caused by something as selfish as a tobacco addiction put it in perspective for me. There are a 1000 ways to die, but nothing as painful to watch as someone dealing with cancer. From day 1 of my quit, I swore on my life I will never put that shit in my mouth ever again. I never have understood the “addiction being a disease” approach. I see excuses and I see choices. So for me it was about making the right choice this time. Hopefully I dodged a bullet. I hope we dodged 15,000+ bullets with everyone on this site. I am trying to recruit friends and family to join the KTC community now. Much like baptist (im catholic) everyone I see dipping, I try to convert. I have been spreading the KTC good news almost daily. I appreciate all the kind words of encouragement, BWB, Bruce, Sportsfan, Mich34, EvilWon, Cmark, FloridaLuke and everyone else Ive chatted with. Thanks to Aglawyer for showing me how to work this website and post. I enjoyed the train ride with the Jackwagons. Take care of yourselves.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member hndgnnr9