How Soon Is Now – Show’s Story, Apology and Thanks
How long is one-hundred days? That depends. If you compare it to how long we who are addicted to nicotine can go without feeding our addiction it is an unbelievable amount of time. However, if you compare it to how long we have shoved the shit into our lips, it is barely a blink of the eye – right around 1% for me. Regardless, I am proud of this accomplishment – this beginning.
As Newton once quipped, “If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.” I did not quit of my own impetus. That is not to say I did not chose to quit but rather the likelihood of my success without this site and these people was barren. These people dragged me along in the wash of their quits. This speech is not about me. It is about Chewie, ODT, FranPro, Remshot, Big Brother Jack and the hundreds of quitters who blazed this trail and showed that it could be done. It is about the 338 speeches on the eleven pages here before mine (Loot where the hell is yours? <_< ). Most of these speeches were written long before I ever thought seriously about quitting but they were written in anticipation of my quit; in anticipation of your quit.
When you join this site the outpouring of support is overwhelming and, if you take your word seriously, frightening. If the thought of breaking your word to several hundred folks doesn’t scare you…..well you may just be a sociopath my friend. My screen name is “Show”. It is not because I am some kind of swelled head thespian – no offense intended BOC333. Show is the name I was given by a good friend of mine at the U of MN. It is short for Mr. No Show. As in: “Hey Terry, we are going to the Cedar Cultural Center to watch Ry Cooder want to join us?” Pause to consider my options. “Sounds good. I might make it.” I don’t commit because my word means something and I am afraid of not living up to my word.
So how did I come to this place? I have no health issues. My wife did not nag me about my chewing. For the first eight years we were together she watched me get inebriated on a daily basis – leaving me morally and financially bankrupt so I think my chewing paled in comparison. I gutted it so there weren’t spitters all over the place. In fact, my beard and my lack of spitting allowed me to chew almost anywhere without embarrassment. I did not have to lie and hide my adddiction. So why did I quit?
Leadership via example. One of my favorite memories of my youth is sitting in the basement with my brother Jai (PbKid) after we both got home from where ever we had been that evening, having a chew and watching some bad movie like The Car or Warriors and shooting the shit. So when he quit I stood by and silently watched him struggle.
I did not offer him the support he needed or deserved. In fact, I kept waiting for him to tell me he started chewing again. My addiction was so entrenched that I could not support my brother for fear of how it reflected on me. That is what makes this addiction so disgusting. One night I was talking to him and he said he reached 100 days. “That’s kind of a big deal on this site Terry.” I didn’t get it but now I was curious. He kept quitting and I kept wondering until I finally decided enough and I chose my daughter’s birthday for my quit date. I told him about my plan and the day before my daughter’s birthday I get a box full of gum, dum-dums, werther’s originals, etc. arrived in the mail from his family. He, his wife and my neice and nephew were all invested in my quit – accountability.
When I posted for the first time with my group I got this:
Quote:
Welcome to the best decision you could make my friend.
Congrats on quitting on your daughters b-day. Best present you could give her. Your brother mentioned you are quitting…..I’ll be happy to help in any way that I can. You can find me around the boards but daily in March 09.
My number is xxx-xxx-xxxx…feel free to text or call if it gets tough. Hang in there…it gets better fast.
Again..welcome
xxxx / hydro
Now he was invested in my quit. – Accountability.
Moments later this arrived:
Quote:
Welcome, you made two great choices, quitting and joining this site. Stay close to KTC, read as much as you can, when you feel a crave or the fog is too much get on here and read, it will help. All it takes is one day at a time, you can do anything for a day right?
If you need a number mine is yours.
-Fomocosho
Oh hell, now he was invested in my quit too. – Accountability. Skoal Monster, Helios, Dean the Coot, Loot, Mule21 (still waiting on my salmon thong), Dr. Bruce Banner, Volp (we seem to be a rarity on this site) – all of these people invested in my quit early on. Some intentionally, and some I dragged in by saying stupid shit – or at least saying shit stupidly (How ya doin’ Loot and Dean 😉 ) but they all made an investment in my quit. I could not come back and tell them that I had let them down. – Accountability.
Then there was the brotherhood of March 2010. We were/are a quiet group but there are some in here that I have no doubts would go well out of their way to see me quit. Luv2ski, ChoosingIntegrity, The Starkness, Daniel-san, Tom H, FtheBear. Thanks guys. – Accountability.
Beyond that there are some, that although I have never met them to shake their hand, I consider my friends: nmc, TCOPE and Hydro words cannot express my gratitude and indebtedness for all you have done to make my quit successful. And Jai, turns out 100 days IS kind of a big deal. You asked why I quit in a PM and the answer is simple. I quit because you showed me, after all of my failed attempts, that it could be done. I quit because you “kicked steps” for me. And if you, anonymous guy on your PC, are reading this and thinking about quitting get in here. I will “kick steps” for you.
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Show
