I Am Like You – ZAE’s HOF Speech

Ready, JPine (JPuss), de archer, builderchad, 65fl, LoOt, Brent, Hazard, Diesel, CTD, Smoke, Sweenz, Jack, Mule, Player, Nodip, Redtrain, Steelcity, Edromero…and a dozen more that I cannot look up or remember right now. You don’t know me, but I appreciate you. You had more to do with this quit than you will ever know.

Had to get that out of the way, before I forgot.

I am nothing like you, but I am just like you. I am a dip addict. It started when I was in middle school and never went away. Until I made it go away.

I attended private schools. Graduated at the top of my class. I have an Ivy League degree. Every advantage, as they say.

But I was a dip addict. Just like you. We may look different, talk different, think different…but we are all brothers. I am just like you.

I work in the public eye. I am embarrassed about my habit, so I am too chickenshit to give my real name. But I am just like you.

For the last 15 years, I built my schedule around dip. I looked forward to business trips without family, just so I could throw one in. I drove to work with dip. I played golf with dip. Dip owned me. And then, one night, I had an awakening.

It was 2 or 3 days after my 37th birthday. My kids were asleep. My wife — my rock, a saint — was asleep. It was about the time that I would have dipped, if this were any other night in the last 15 years.

But on that night, for whatever reason, I had a vision.

The vision was of myself, three years in the future, turning 40, and still dipping. I was disgusted. I was embarrassed. I had berated myself along these lines many times before, but somehow, this night was different. Something turned in me. A light came on. I reached the wall. I think it was the image of my kids — Z and E, as my screen name will explain — seeing their dad as a slave to fucking dip. Something snapped.

So I got up. And I did an Internet search. And I found this site.

Holy shit.

My life has changed, irreversably, in the last 100 days. I would not be here were it not for the men and women who devote themselves to this site every day. You don’t know me — and I have probably kept it that way — but I appreciate you. I thank you. You have saved my life, my marriage, and my sanity.

My wife sees a difference. So do my parents, my in-laws, and most importantly, my kids. My friends see it too. They ask about it, not knowing what they’re seeing.

The answer? This is me. Without the addiction. The real me. It’s new territory, so I’m scared shitless — and I know that this will be an everyday thing until I die.

The difference being, I will now die on my own terms, not on the terms of a cancerous addiction. And I’m cool with that. With a regular routine of running, lifting, yoga, and general happiness, my death date is now pegged at about 70 years from today. As opposed to 50, or less. That’s a big difference. A difference that I made happen.

Check that — YOU made it happen. You fucktards, you assholes, you motherfuckers, you awesome bastards, you anonymous jerkoffs who I came to respect and fear every day when I posted roll. Accountability made this happen. I could not face the prospect of letting you down. I bought in, and that enabled me to reach 100 days. By the way — I plan to deliver a steaming pile of shit to everyone who uses this site in the future, just as my older brothers did to me.

Thank you.

Ready, JPine (JPuss), de archer, builderchad, 65fl, LoOt, Brent, Hazard, Diesel, CTD, Smoke, Sweenz, Jack, Mule, Player, Nodip, Redtrain, Steelcity, Edromero…and a dozen more that I cannot look up or remember right now. I would lay down in traffic for this group. I would watch your kids, hold your wallet, give you the last dollar in mine. Anything you need. YOU did this. I’m just a passenger.

THANK YOU. Thank you for freeing me from that prison. Day 100 is the best day of my life. But it’s not the end, and I know that.

This is a great milestone, but it’s not the end. It’s just one more step. And if I’m lucky, I will be able to pay forward all the power that I have received on this site.

I’m just like you. Thank you.

ZAE

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member zachandelliesdad