I Can, You Can, We Can KICK The CAN!
100 days??? I never thought I’d reach 10 days of being QUIT, before finding this site. Especially after dipping for approx. 10950 days. I’d been dipping so long that I can’t remember what it felt like to “not dip”.
My goal is to be quit until I quit breathing. I know I’ll be dead someday, I just don’t want to hurry it up.
Mom and Dad hurried their deaths up by using nicotine and alcohol daily. Mom had small cell of the lung 3rd stage and didn’t even know it. Dad always smoked and ate unhealthy, suffered from nicotine related illnesses.
I really don’t want to be on my death bed thinking, “man, I sure wish I hadn’t put that first dip in.”
Honestly, I can’t even remember how I stumbled upon KillTheCan.org. When I found it I read alot in 2 hours, downloaded a quit pamphlet/checklist, read that too. Got as much info as I could. Then I found the “chat” link and jumped in. I don’t remember who it was that called me a bot or something(wedge maybe)…pissed me off and I said “no, I’m here to be quit”. I posted my phone number on chat and MikeA calls me up…he listens to me balling like a baby and talking a mile a minute cause to me it is a life or death decision.
Then, (as if he was reading my fears) he gives me the greatest advice. He said, “Son, don’t worry about the triggers, because LIFE is A TRIGGER!” Wow, that is so powerful, I’ll never forget it!
For me, I was really messed up mentally at first because I was dead serious about my quit. I couldn’t take it anymore, being the slave, having to hide the nasty habit, lying to myself that someday I would quit. Master ninja dipper. No where to spit, no problem, swallow dumbass!
Today that is so nasty and gross! The stupid nasty, smelly slave is no more!
I used to lie to myself saying: If I could win the lottery, quit my job and check into a rehab place for 30 days, then I could quit. Well, I didn’t win the lottery and I AM QUIT!!! It’s so easy it is stupid! ONE DAY at a TIME! Anyone can do something for a day, right? The decision is MINE.
I planned my quit. I found this site. Told myself I would quit on Monday. I made an appointment to see a doctor about getting something to help with the craves. Appointment was on Friday. I came to work on friday, jumped on the site. Read alot more, that’s when I quit at 8:36 am 100 days ago Friday May 25th 2012. I flushed it all, crying like a baby, looked in the mirror and said “You gotta do this.” That’s when I jumped on the site and met MikeA and some other very wise Vets of QUIT! Went to the doctor at 10am and told him what I was there for. He said okay, but you shouldn’t quit today, cause the medicine (Zyban) I’m gonna give you takes 3 days to get into your system. Can you imagine anyone telling anyone they shouldn’t quit? So, I got the prescription filled that morning, followed the directions for 2 days.
After reading more of the site, I decided to “not” take the zyban. I looked at the bottle and said to the bottle (yes I talked to the bottle) “I don’t need YOU!” Meanwhile the fake dip arrived..seven wintergreen cans of it. I opened the first can, smelled it, looked at it and said (I talked to the can too) “YOU smell like the real thing and look like the real thing, I don’t need you!” The seven cans stayed on my desk and I never used them.
Opting to use lots of cold water/pissin’ alot, toothpicks, cinnomen gum, tic tacs, seeds, mints and hard candy instead. I threw away the 7 cans about 70 days into my quit. Never used the zyban again either.
For the first time in my life I viewed myself as an addict. Now I know what I am and deal with it each a.m. by posting my promise and keeping it all day, getting to bed and repeating in the a.m.
I know now that I have to decide each day that nicotine is not an option, it is not on the table for today. Life, Love, freedom, longevity, happiness and reality are on the table instead.
Some things that changed for me..so far: immediately a couple dark places on my face dissappeared. Blood flow was obviously better (says my wife), blood pressure went from a little high to very normal/low. I am now able to think quicker, clearer and longer. I know that I cannot go back to the way I was before I started dipping, but I will accept this body and mind with whatever damage I have already done. It is waaaaayyyyyyy better than it was when I dipped. I can really think faster, read faster, respond faster and like my wife says “Now when I look into your eyes, the light is on and SOMEBODY is home.”
Food has a taste and I can’t believe some of the stuff I have been eating all these years…no wonder my wife and daughter wouldn’t eat some of this stuff!! LOL Needless to say, I’ve given up some of that crap I have been eating for years.
Work is alot easier without the stress of trying to hide my addiction.
I’m still realizing alot of things that are worth mentioning, like how selfish I was with my life as a dipper. Really, what right did I have, to commit suicide slowly when I have a wonderful daughter and loving wife depending on me?
As addicts we really had a way of destroying those we love. As a Quitter I can share a “real” life of love and happiness with my wife and daughter. I’m not drunk/high anymore on nicotine. I don’t need nicotine. Nicotine doesn’t make anything better. I didn’t sign up to get addicted, but it happened and I am triumphant in my QUIT.
I want to say Thank You to some wonderful “real” Men of QUIT. MikeA for being on chat for me that day. DennyX, who is very busy with his two girls and baby boy. Mthomas3824, cmark, bigbamadan, Wt57, Bruce, Wedge, sacubsfan, FosterChild. Thank You Everyone in my Sept. 2012 quit group. Protect your quit at all costs.
If you’re new here and want to quit dipping you can.
YOU really Can, KICK the CAN!
If this hillbilly can do it, then I know that YOU can TOO! All you have to do is “DECIDE”. Do it for yourself and noone else. If you do it for yourself and make your quit very selfish (as selfish as your dipping was) you can BE QUIT.
It is real simple, but most likely the hardest thing you’ll ever do in your life. You’ve got to get through hell to get to real living.
Believe me, there is a “real” difference between living and dipping.
Don’t wait until your family is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Quit Today and I’ll be Quit with YOU!
Post roll (the earlier the better)
Make it through the day (whatever it takes to “not” put the poison in your mouth) Get to bed.
Wake up and REPEAT.
Thank you EVERYONE for Your support, your prayers, your time in chat, your every post, your commitment to life instead of slavery.
Sincerely,
30isEnuff
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member 30isEnuff
