I Don’t Want To Forget My Addiction

I’m sure I’ve talked about this before, but it came up again today and I’m in a bit of a mood.

I often hear people say that the only time they think about dip is when they’re on the forums, on Discord or reading through the site. They say that the only time they think about dip is when they get a text message or a PM from a fellow member asking them whey they haven’t posted roll. They use this as an excuse to back away from the site and back away from their addiction.

They think that forgetting about their addiction will make it go away.

They are dead wrong.

I WANT to think about dip on a daily basis. Even a decade after I’ve quit, I never want to forget my addiction. I’ve come too far.

I want to remember what it was like to be a fresh quitter. I want to remember just how bad I felt when I was going through withdrawal those first couple of days. If I start to forget and those memories start to fade then the Nic Bitch will get that little crack that she’s been looking for. She wants me to forget about her. She wants me to just remember the good times. She only wants me to remember the comforting feel of my can of Kodiak in my back pocket.

I’ve heard people describe roll call as picking off a scab. If we post roll daily, we recognize our addiction daily. If we never let that would totally heal we will never forget. For me, that’s the key. I don’t want to forget. I remember that I’m still just $5 and a bad decision away from my addiction. That’s not a path I’m willing to go down again.

Isn’t “thinking about dip” for a few minutes on a daily basis a small price to pay for freedom from tobacco? It’s a price I’m willing to pay.

Proud to be quit with you all today.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Chewie