I Never Meant To Quit

I began dipping in January 1991. When I stumbled in here twenty years later, I never really meant to quit. We all come to KTC for various reasons. I’ve mentioned previously that my quit was a supposed to be limited. Being Catholic, this year I chose to give up dipping as my penance for Lent in part to prove to myself that I could. I always knew that I should quit eventually but this time I figured that if I stopped for 40 plus days that maybe I’d be weaned enough that I would stay away from the stuff for good. So, before going to bed on March 8th, I spit out my last dip and tossed the can. A week later, I Googled nicotine withdrawal symptoms to determine how long the erratic sleep patterns would persist when I found KTC.

Despite the early weeks of quit hell and fog, I did not waiver because my promise was to the Lord through Easter. Somewhere along the way of posting roll daily, I educated and vested myself here subsequently reaching out to embrace the brotherhood. I since relish the opportunity to remain quit beyond forty or even one hundred days with the knowledge and fortitude to withstand the surly lures of nicotine. I remain blessed with the brotherly bonds attained over the past months. It was this site and my fellow quitters that helped me solidify my once uncertain future to one of quit, strength and resolve.

Kill The Can helped me do what I meant to do when I… got my first professional job (’92), graduated college (’94), got married (’96), had children (’01 & ’03) or the countless times and milestones prior, during or in between the twenty years I abused my mouth, gambled with my health and had forsaken my family for two decades of nicotine addiction.

For the sake of unintentional omission to those of you with whom I’ve communicated whether in person, via phone, email, chat, PM or a simple acknowledgement during some facet of roll, I simply say a heartfelt thank you. You know who you are and please know that I am forever grateful for your support and daily sustenance. I will continue to be supportive and available as we continue our quit together and assist those choosing to forge or follow our path. I am not naïve enough to think that we won’t need one another for some time to come. I will be here. I hope you’ll join me.

Epilogue:

Up until 100 days ago, my 10 year old son has known me to dip daily and often. I remember having two cans packed in our hospital overnight bag anticipating his arrival in early 2001. I’ve been a good father in most regards but he and his younger brother deserve better than seeing me addicted to nicotine their entire lives. He’s since seen me spend an evening or two on KTC and has asked about playing ‘games’ here, specifically because of the yellow smiley avatars. He wanted to contribute in some fashion. So, here are my son’s words to you (spelling uncorrected but undoubtedly better than Syndrome’s):

Here are some of the reasons not to dip tobacco.
1. You could spend a lot of money that could be useful in the future.
2. You could need mouth surgery.
3. It could affect your health.
I am glad my dad doesn’t dip any more because I don’t want him to get hurt. Your family wants you healthy too.

Brothers, sisters and those of you thinking of joining our ranks, quit for yourselves but remember that someone dear to you loves you more than life itself.

Godspeed,
RebelDog

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member rebeldog