I Was a Slave All Over Again

November nut jobs,

This is Fatty from the Mountains in Northern California.  I Have to begin my saying that sharing my story over the inter-webs freaks me out. Partly because I’m a fairly private person, but mostly because talking about my weaknesses is never very fun.

I’ve tried to quit over six times. I’ve used internal motivation, and external motivation from friends and my loving wife which never ended up with anything but an argument when I failed.

I wanna share with you one particular story of my last attempt. Through all the counseling and mentorship I have had , I have to give my wife the most credit for finding KTC and sharing daily articles with me. I thought this would be enough to motivate me to quit.  In my own head I thought that I had quit. I had a solid eight or nine months and another life-changing event hit me. I went back to nicotine gum and then the fake nicotine chew. And I was a slave all over again. This time after tearing up and explaining to my son and wife how weak I am when it comes to an addiction I signed up for KTC with the November crew. I know I don’t share that much but reading everyone’s posts and seeing the thumbs up and the congratulations is an extremely incredible inspiration. I know a lot of you think accountability comes in the format of calling people out. But I think the accountability starts with the inspiration we gave each other.

I’m approaching my 100 days and I promise I will make it. But most importantly I want people to know that on day 93 I had one of the worst cravings I’ve had since maybe day 40. I was able to speak to my wife take a deep breath and let it pass within seconds but it’s wild how fast an addiction or a crutch can crawl back in your life. Rollcall, making that promise daily, and listening to the inspirational words of everyone around me is what’s going to keep me quit and I will forever be a part of this KTC crew.

I’m pulling for all my while Nov Nut Job team and those that have just started their journey! Wake up Piss and POST!  Take the 5 minutes to read and reflect and you will be forever thankful for the strength it gives you.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan community member Fatty