I’m Stuck and Have Never Been Happier

Before joining a quit group I would read articles on the main KTC site along with HOF speeches.  I remember wondering if that could ever actually be me.  I had been a slave to grizzly my entire adult life. I was where some of you are right now.  You without a shadow of doubt can be where I am soon enough.  Taking it one day at a time enjoying freedom from nicotine.

I can’t say it has been enjoyable or fun.  Words like exhausting, oppressive, and miserable would be a better fit.  With the help of the site it has been tolerable, entertaining, and most importantly doable.  The experience and knowledge shared from the community is something special.  Some really nasty things start occurring when you quit and it was paramount for me to never be caught off guard.

While knowledge is power, the factor of accountability is the true key to my success.  It’s more like a web of accountability to get entangled in.  For new people thinking about taking the next step in your quits I say go all in.  By grabbing as many strands of the web as possible I became stuck.  I genuinely feel like it’s easier to just stay quit.  That is my favorite part about joining and I will forever be grateful for it.  I am looking forward to a quitter meet ups at some point in the future.  Another strand to grab you see?

Before wrapping this up I wanted to mention a few things that could make your life easier when posting roll for the first time based off my own regrets.  These are things I struggled with in varying ways. Remember this is an addiction website and not the real world.  Don’t get freaked out by some of the drama on the site.  I honestly say embrace it and talk a lot of shit yourself.  Take your rage out on the site instead of your coworkers and loved ones.  I’ve ran my mouth so much the thought of posting a day 1 again and getting roasted alive by the site’s gatekeepers makes me feel sick.  Give out your phone number to a ridiculous amount of people.  It’s a little strange but totally worth it.  My wife gives me so much crap about my cult and all the people I text on a weekly basis that I’ve never actually met.  These guys are your lifeline.  Never suffer alone when the craves hit and your brain is on fire.  There will be times when you can barely see or process a thought, these are the times to reach out and lean on them.  Anytime I was in a tight spot a simple text always improved the situation.  Don’t get defensive about anything accountability related.  This is easier said than done more so at the beginning.  It is an accountability forum.  Trust me I know it feels like people are being over the top and pushy.  Just understand accountability checks are for a reason that might not make sense to you yet.  There is a lot for new quitters to learn and you will find out the same guys driving you nuts are the ones helping you stay quit!  A simple thanks for looking out for me will go a long way.  Lastly, don’t feel bad for your fellow group quitters who get roasted for posting a day 1 after previously using the site.  I was one of these people.  We betrayed our previous quit group and turned our backs on the site.  We deserve what is coming to us and it is an incredible accountability deterrent.  Trust the process those pesky gatekeepers come to mind constantly whenever I have a bad craving.

While nobody could quit for me a few come to mind who have had significant positive impacts on my success.

• My fellow Haymakers.  It has been an absolute honor tackling this addiction with you all.  My daily promise to you is my front line of defense each day.
• My wife.  I have been an insufferable prick at times through this with the emotional range of a toddler. You always took it in stride and had my back.  I tried to so hard to shield you from it by using other outlets but sometimes it just came out.
• Daviddim.  I’ve leaned on you the most out of anybody.  Thank you for always being positive and taking the lead with the group. Your experience has been much appreciated.  You are also an incredible motivator.  Things have settled down now but I’ve texted and annoyed you at all hours of any given day with any number of things.  You always stayed upbeat and rolled with it.
• Muleman.  You are a damn quit machine.  I’m not even sure you are human.  At one point you were tracking every single pre hof quit group.  Your passion for quitting is infectious and would burn out us mere mortals. One of the smartest things I ever did was exchange numbers with you.
• Bug Guy.  More like Professor Bug to me.  Thanks for taking the time to educate a frustrating Mayflower on the finer nuances of quitting.  Your guidance has proven invaluable and much needed to continue my long term success.  I look up to you and always value your opinion.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Thomas