Is This a New Me?

I’ve reached 100 days and in the days leading up to this I was reminded by my wife about something I would repeatedly ask her throughout our relationship: If you didn’t know me would you think I was a dipper?

This question was a haunting one to me throughout these 9 years. It was haunting because I already knew the answer myself. My own thoughts always told me from day one that dipping wasn’t me, but everyday I would let it define me. It would control every aspect of my life. A mantra that I would say out loud before leaving the house was, “phone, keys, wallet, dip.” I had to always remember it. Dip defined who I was, but here was the funny thing: the answer to my question “If you didn’t know me would you think I was a dipper?” was always answered with NO.

Now that I’ve reached 100 days I can truthfully say those people were full of shit. Looking back at my behaviors I would have totally guessed I was an addict. I would dip where it’s was socially unacceptable, I didn’t care about my health, I would get cranky after a couple of hours without one, etc. my persona had changed to that of an addict over the years of dipping.

Now here I sit at 100 days. I feel different and act different. I can say with 100% confidence I am a better person than I was 101 days ago. I didn’t advertise to a lot of friends and family that I was quitting (this quit needed to be mine and for me) but a lot of them commented that I seemed a lot happier and I truly am. To be rid of a substance is a great feeling, but it’s a greater feeling to not be tied down to s substance. What I feel is all me, no longer is it dependent on a dip in my mouth.

I didn’t make it to this 100 days on my own though. Without the January Juggs I doubt I would be here. To my fellow 100 day @Finoc1984 congratulations, we made the first milestone. I’m proud to have you as a quit brother and look forward to the continuation of our journey.

To @Keith0617 I want to especially thank you for the daily texts. At the beginning they saved me because I felt I couldn’t let you down since you took the time to text me so thank you.

To @CDA-rj thanks for all the distractions with the daily texts. They are always welcomed and make the start of the day that much easier to quit.

Thank you all, it’s been a great beginning of the journey, I look forward to the rest of it and always, keepin it goin’.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member NurseFarmer