Learning To Be a Man After a Decade of Addiction
I’m 52 days in, so take what I say with a grain of salt. There are quitters here who are way more baddass than I. I’m 27 years old. I’ve been a nicotine addict since I was 18. That’s almost a decade of addiction, and I’m not even 30 yet. You know what made me finally quit? Realizing that I’m an effing addict. Dip isn’t a bad habit. It’s an addiction. I have an addiction. I’m an addict. You know what helps people with addiction? Admitting it. Finding help. Committing to one day at a time. Finding accountability. Alcoholics have AA, and it seems to work pretty damn well. We have KTC.
I’m writing this tonight because I don’t have dip cravings any more. I don’t even want the stuff. By the time I quit, I hated dip; I just couldn’t do anything about it…or so I thought. But, ultimately, who is the one buying dip? Me. The “stressful day” isn’t buying the can. The “annoying person” isn’t buying the can. I’m buying the can because I’m weak. KTC gives me the kick in the ass to not be weak. I’m writing this because I still feel physically terrible. My temper is crazy. The FOG is still there every damn day. But, I’m in control of my effing life. I buy what I WANT to buy, not what my addiction tells me to buy (2 cans a day, give or take). The downside is that I have to learn how to be an adult man for the first time. There’s no dip to help me “unwind” after a long day. There’s no nicotine to help me “cool down” after a stressful situation. There’s only me, and my choice to be VIRTUOUS or NOT.
If you’re reading this with a big ol’ chaw in, listen here. If you REALLY want to quit, you can. If you don’t want to quit, I’ve got no beef with you. Enjoy Cope or Griz or whatever. It’s your life. But, If you want to quit but you feel like you can’t, dump that shiz out RIGHT NOW and post your day 1. I’m a man of my word, and my promise to my group is the only thing that has kept me quit for 52 days. I’ll see you at 100 on my HoF induction day. There’s no doubt in my mind. I wanna see YOU too.
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member jedi1991
Thanks for sharing this. This was exactly how I felt. I am 34 years old and have been using some kind of tobacco since I was 15. I smoked until I was 22 and switched to dip to quit smoking like a dumbass! I tried quitting multiple times without any success. I hid it from my wife and kids and would get caught 3-4 times a year and would get into huge fights.
I am currently on Day 15 cold turkey. I was not able to quit until I admitted to myself that I am an addict and laid everything out for my wife to see. It’s a liberating feeling. Almost instantaneously I knew I can now quit.
I work for a Fire Department which makes quitting so much harder strictly because dip cans are everywhere. A lot of the guys are super supportive of my quit. Some guys screw with me about it, but I deserve it for being an idiot and getting addicted to begin with.
I have been asked how I was able to quit being on the fire department. I tell people I still have a long one to go and I go one day at a time, but here is how I got here:
First: admit you’re an addict and you have a problem
Second: get rid of all dip! Clean your car, dump your stash, and be ready for hell.
Next: be ready to do a true cold turkey. If you do a nicotine replacement therapy then you haven’t quit. Be ready for hell. I made sure to put myself in situations where I know I couldn’t or wouldn’t dip for 4 days.
Finally get some support! Rally your family, friends, and coworkers. They will have your back. Stay away from the bottle. There is a group at several churches throughout the country called Celebrate Recovery. Basically AA with biblical backing. Check them out!
I am past the bad cravings and now I’m just fighting the oral fixation! Good luck everyone! Stay strong!