Me, Freddi HOF – Thanks For Being Willing To Help

In getting ready to write this HOF, I had to go back and reread my introduction.  It is odd.  I know I wrote it, but it feels like someone else wrote part of it.  I guess someone else did help…. Nicotine had ahold of my thoughts, and was influencing what I did, what i said, and the way I thought.  So glad to have her outta my head.

I chewed for over 30 years.  THIRTY long years.  Multiple attempts to quit, but they just didn’t last.  Not just a occasional chewer, it was all the time.  Any day, any place, most nights.  Regularly slept with a plug of Copenhagen in my mouth.

Never spit. Ever.  My grandfather hated the sight of spit cups or spittoons…but loved Copenhagen.  SOOO, you chewed, and never spit the ‘good stuff’.   It weighs heavy on my heart when I think about the dosing of nicotine I was giving myself each and every day.

It has been a journey, these last 100 days.  But the journey has just begun.  It was difficult, the first 30 days the worst.  I had crushing cravings.  The fog is real.  Just when I thought I was past it, I’d get more clarity. I realize now how much of a ‘fog’ my brain had put me into, just to try to get me to chew again.  This is a long road, that I will need focus on traveling, every day.  You simply don’t get ‘healed’ after 100 days.  You are just more apt to not go back, as long as you keep making that daily commitment to stay quit.

I got a few people that I need to personally thank.  If for no other reason because they put up with my pissy attitude:

The Hateful 8 – We are much smaller than when we started, not even up to eight anymore!  I could not have done it without knowing that there were others struggling at the same time I was.  I apologize for all of my pissy comments, bad attitude days, etc., I’m glad you guys stuck with me, and appreciate all of you.

Keith0617 – one of the first guys to reach out to me, and coached me in those early days….when you just felt so alone.  Nicotine MAKES you feel like you’re alone, so you’ll give her another kiss.

FH – A guy that reached out to me, and immediately made it easy to talk.  Most of the time, he’d text about anything EXCEPT the quit, just to help me stay distracted from the cravings.  I cannot ever thank you enough for it.

RazD611 – One of the crankiest, but funniest, guys posting on the December page.  It got to the point that I had to cringe when I saw he posted something other than roll.
I’d take a deep breath and read, hoping that he wasn’t getting ready to lay into me, or start some shit!  Again, it was always from his heart, and he truly wanted us all to be successful in our quit.  It is easier to see that now!

MNxEngineer – Guy that it turned out lives one town over.  Like many of the guys detailed above, just seemed to know when I needed a message, or a text, to keep me focused.  Genuinely just cared for the quitters…doing whatever he could to keep us quit.  (A definition of a REAL friend)

Muleman, Stillbrewing, KD2, TwinCitiesMN, Thefranks5, Copequits, Falcon67, Buttons7886, JDFree, 4TheWin, GS9502, and a whole bunch of others that I’m missing.  All people that I may not have texted to privately…but you all contributed to the December page, posting role with us green quitters, making it cool to stay quit.  I cannot thank you all, enough.  I can only hope to be able to so the same thing for others, that you have done for us.

So 100 days ago, I concluded my introduction with this:

Sorry for the rambling.  thanks for having me.  Thanks for being willing to help.

I think it still fits, so I’ll use it again.

Sorry for the rambling.  thanks for having me.  Thanks for being willing to help.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Freddi