Mind of an Addict
As some of you know I landed a new job 13hrs from home. The pay is good with tons of overtime. My cousin worked the same job for a few months and this job kicked his habit into overdrive, from a bag of Redman a week to a bag every 2 days. his most recent words of choice have been I am not sure why your quitting, you know it will not last.
My new boss found out that I am knowledgeable in car audio and asked me to help him install his system yesterday. Mind you I had never seen him chew although I had seen him smoke if he was outside. Yesterday was an eye opener for me big time. Sitting on his console was not only a pack of smokes but a can of Cope. talk about in your face, one won’t hurt, it will help your stress, mmm doesn’t that smell good, etc. Didn’t budge me. In fact it almost made me sick just seeing it.
Speaking of it will help your stress, hahaha I asked him about his chewing Vs. smoking and his answer to me was that his job is so stressful that he usually has a chew AND a cig going… Say what???
So it was my cousins birthday yesterday. Last night they wanted to go to the casino for dinner and some gaming. Ok I can do this. I am not much of a gambler unless it is a cheap game of texas hold em and Dinner will be nice. Ever notice how strong the smell of cigarettes is in a casino? Even on the “no smoking” side if they have one. horrible horrible stuff. Well Dinner was good, pretty hard to mess up prime rib in my book and I was finally able to have a beer with out a craving!!! We started out on the no smoking side but pretty soon ended up in the smokers garden of hell. i watched the other guys playing and just kinda let them do their thing for a while. then I slid a $10 into the slot and I’ll be damned if it did not spit $250 back at me. They lost $300 each LOL
I may be a recovering addict but I can see how this shit can grab a hold of your life and twist you and turn you into something your not. The mind tricks it can play on you to make you “feel” more relaxed. Seeing these guys chewing every day and smoking every day is just sad. I am glad I quit and the plan is to remain quit. I do not need that Nic Bitch. I do not want that Nic Bitch. I need to stay quit for myself, my family, and my brothers and sisters here. I can not control what others put in their mouth. The lies they tell themselves to make it feel ok. The hurt they cause others as a result of the addiction. This is the Mind of an addict, a horrible twisted lie. I am not perfect by a long shot but with help and determination I will continue to beat this addiction and maybe through me another can find the strength to quit.
John101477 – 34 days quit and happy as hell to be that way
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member john101477
