My Last Days to One Hundred

I began dipping at the age of 13. I lived more life being a slave to tobacco than not. But that is history. I’ve many excuses as to why I used but none seem relevant today. I’ve quit many times by myself but failed miserably but this time it’s different.

This time it’s different; I’ve a different mind set than I did in the past. I’d like to talk to new quitters about role. For me it became more than making a promise not to use nicotine. For me it became a reaffirmation that this day is a brand new day. It is a new opportunity awarded to me. It wasn’t till the last days of my hundred did I realize this and strived in my day to feel accomplished at at the end of it. Every day is a new beginning. Tomorrow is not certain and yesterday learned from and forgotten. Live for today, live for this very moment.

I went through many phases in my quit. I highly recommend new quitters to check out the profiles and past postings from veteran quitters. Chances are some of the stuff you are going through they have been through. Doing this has been a great help and reassurance to me. Also don’t be afraid to show raw emotion in your post. For many years I never showed emotion; I dipped instead. I have posts that really make me look like a sissy, I don’t care! Those posts brought people to me who have gone through the same. Their understanding reassured me. They became supporters of me and now friends of mine. Speaking of that I went through a stage early in my quit when I was quite paranoid. When someone gives you their contact info., keep it. They only want to help. Don’t be like me and send out pm’s asking what the heck do these ppl want from me. “I’m not comfortable with this!” lol I am now.

Quitting dipping for me has been a process of letting go and embracing. I had to let go of more than just nicotine. I had to let go of an addict mentality but first I had to acknowledge that I was an addict. That was very difficult and that is what makes this quit different from my others
I had to let go of things that brought negativity into my life and I still am. “Cleaning my house”. I’m still letting go. I’ve learned to embrace the moment, I’ve learned to forgive and embrace others; looking passed their faults for God knows I’ve many of my own. I’m learning to let go of my own failures and embrace my own accomplishments. They may be different from others, my accomplishments, but they are mine. I won’t allow the joy of them to be taken away from me.

Last Days to One Hundred

My last days to 100 I was in a very dark place. I couldn’t explain the depression… I was becoming recluse. Going back to nicotine was not an option. I read the Bible daily searching for God’s love and grace but during this time I was in search of what was causing this hurt. I found it in a Psalm

Psalm 123
Unto thee lift I up mine eyes, O thou that dwellest in the heavens.
Behold, as the eyes of servants look unto the hand of their masters, and as the eyes of a maiden unto the hand of her mistress; so our eyes wait upon the Lord our God, until that he have mercy upon us.
Have mercy upon us, O Lord, have mercy upon us: for we are exceedingly filled with contempt.
Our soul is exceedingly filled with the scorning of those that are at ease, and with the contempt of the proud.

My contempt for others contentment as I was searching for my own self worth was the cause for my depression. These words resonated with me as I continue even today to let go of and to embrace.

Quitting for me has meant a change of attitude and a change of life. New quitters be prepared to accept that. I can say better an positive things has taken the place of the bad and negative I’ve let go of so far. Keep faith and stay quit.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Oliver88