New Life Familiarity… and Embrace
My story is as typical as most HOF speeches, so I’ll share mine as well. I grew up in Central California on a farm. There was a roping arena about a mile and a half from our house. I was 9 years old and after just watching John Wayne and a bunch of no name little kid actors in the movie “The Cowboys” a year before, I was hooked on westerns and the romanticism of the life. I got a job on the weekends working at the roping arena for $2.50 per day, so $5 bucks a weekend. Now a days it would be considered child abuse, but I think it taught me more…good and bad.
I used to see these old ropers spitting brown crap out of their mouth and thought I’ve got to try that. I did, got dizzy, puked my little guts out…you know the rest, most of you were there. I basically got used to it. Back then, I chewed once in a while on the weekends. By the time I hit High School, I was a full blown addict. Didn’t have much money, but always had enough for dip. Dip was a monkey on my back the rest of my life…Military (check), Marriage (check), Kids (check), Working on Drilling Rigs (check), Starting own business (check)…2 of four boys now dipping (check). I feel like shit for the last (check).
I’m 51 years old now. My younger brother who looked up to me started right after me. In June of this year he said he thought he had throat cancer from an exam from his doctor. He said it may not be too late for me and would I quit with him July 1st? I agreed, I was scared shitless for my little brother who I love very much. Came to find out 21 days into our quit that his was non-cancerous…Thank God! Then I realized how fucking selfish I was with my beautiful wife and kids. What a greedy thing to do and put their life in total turmoil because I needed dip to relax…what a pussy I was. I thought I was tough like John Wayne, Clint Eastwood (Outlaw Josey Wales) and his ability to kill someone and spit between their eyes…I mean WOW! How fucking cool!…NOT.
Thank God I found KTC…I am not the most tech savvy guy and didn’t figure out the posting procedures immediately. AngryNick pointed out that I was reposting on August 2nd over and over again. Finally got the hang of it. Candoit, Johnsmallberries reached out and guided me. cjoy was a great help. I didn’t feel complete for the day unless I did post.
As my title says…New Life Familiarity and Embrace. I’m not used to being quit, but I embrace it more everyday. I dipped my whole life and by the grace of God…I’m alive. Any new quitters reading this, remember, stay quit for you and not anyone else. Your family will love it that you chose life.
NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member jgw1964
