Now I Know

100 days quit. Cool, right? Thing is.. I am not thankful to KTC for that.

I had attempted to quit in the past and made it much further than I am now without KTC. What will I be eternally grateful for? For being an addict!

Wait a second..

My bad. Run that back again, guys.. *clears throat*

I am so thankful for KNOWING I am an addict. There we go.

KTC has finally forced me to see the truth. Never again can I have just one, for the rest of my life. That knowledge is something I sorely lacked in prior attempts. Before KTC if I was 100 days quit–not craving or even thinking much about dip–I’d probably have the thought that a can would be nice to leave in my softball bag. You know, “I’ve been quit for 3 months, a couple cans over the course of a summer won’t be a big deal”.. After a good few days of not craving much, I’d go grab a can “just for softball”. Of course within 24 hours I’d have torn through the can and by next week it would be like I never stopped..

Now I know I can’t have just one.
Now I know nicotine won’t solve my problem.
Now I know nicotine won’t make my life better.
Now I know nicotine won’t make me happier.
Now I know nicotine will steal my money.
Now I know nicotine will steal my time with loved ones.
Now I know nicotine will eventually steal my life.
Nicotine is a master, and only a master.

Now I know I was an addict.
Now I know I am an addict.
Now I know I will always be a nicotine addict.

Now I know.

So now, there is no excuse.

Tomorrow morning? I will post roll. Because this all important battle is one that does not end.

The many thanks section:

RSN: For being a stud, a fellow sarcasm enthusiast, and picking up my slack on the SSOA with Irish when I was studying.
Irish: For being the captain of our quiet ship even when it meant Mrs. Irish was less than enthused.
Mattlock: For showing me that there are in fact other Maryland-ers (even those far removed from said crab loving state) on KTC. And being a general BAQ.
Buch: For always providing sound and rational advice, with a dash of humor. Unless it is Packers related. Then rationality is removed from the equation.
ReWire and our resident Meth-cook: For being the perfect conductors. Our good is atypical in many ways and y’all were exactly the kind of leaders we needed to help push us to that goal.
NJohns: For showing me that phones do more than text! They can actually make phone CALLS and you can hear the persons’ voice and such. Pretty neat.
MCarmo, Dano, Wepdoc: For being on our GM and providing fantastic leadership for a group from day one all the way through the HOF. Keeping our focus on what is important, adding humor when needed, and pointing us back to KTC every step of the way.
Jared (overitinmt): For being a bad ass. Always being real with us, and being a man of your word. Allowing us to help when we could and being there to pay that help forward to others. A stud through and through.
NewTex: For making me laugh. Even when I didn’t particularly find the joke all that funny. Somehow I always ended up laughing, you’re a champ.
DV: For providing some awesome insight and a freaking perfect beard.
JoeC: For being a defender of Colorado, and always being available to a fellow quitter. And also for your long discussions with Tex that gave me good reading material when I hopped into GM.
JSwizzle: For not minding that I just picked your nickname without your consent and never asked you about it. And for showing me that even from Europe, you could provide some humor and ask for a pickup. #junegoeseuro
Ryguy: For being a super hard worker and making roll a priority nonetheless. Proud of you, guy.
Kubiack: For being a voice of reason at all times and bringing a different and honest perspective to many discussions.

At some point I have to stop or I’ll literally thank every person on KTC. And I guess that is the most fundamental point to all of this. KTC is a life changing website that is available for free. Everyone involved with making this a possibility as well as those involved in simply participating on the site deserve genuine appreciation. Sincere thanks to each and every one of you.

NOTE: This piece written by KillTheCan.org forum member Sacksyboy